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May 10, 2013

Haters of Large Quantities of Beer, Unite

A lot of people and organizations leave posts on the Seven Days Facebook wall, and most of them are crap that no one wants to read. But every now and then there's a weird little gem. Last week we spotted this post, which, WTF:

Screen shot 2013-05-09 at 4.17.29 PM
Beerpitcher_dreamstime_12676280A little background: In most parts of America, you can get a nice big jug of beer that can fill many pint glasses with beer, thus fostering a communal atmosphere around your pub table filled with merriment, joy, German drinking songs and maybe a few drops of brew spilled.

But you're out of luck here in the Green Mountains — the buzzkills that control liquor sales here prohibit bars from serving you beer in anything that holds more than 32 ounces, aka two pints. From item #37 of the Department of Liquor Control's General Regulations:

37. Except as otherwise authorized by law or Liquor Control Board regulation, no malt beverages may be drawn or served otherwise than in glasses, mugs, pitchers, or other containers, of a maximum capacity of thirty two ounces, nor more than four fluid ounces of spirituous liquor may be available to a customer at one time or used in the making of a single mixed drink, and not more than two of the above containers may be served to a customer at one time.

So the 27 haters who like the Stop Pitchers Vermont page are big fans of this rule. Not too often you see an internet campaign that exists just to support a law that's already on the books, but there's probably a "Three Cheers for No Billboards in Vermont" page floating around, too. From the Stop Pitchers Vermont page description (everything sic'd):

We firmly believe that Vermonters can be trusted with up to 32 ounces of beer per serving in bars, but thirty-three ounces will lead to widespread depravity and the unravelling of our state's delicate moral fabric. Join us in defending Vermonters from the abject horrors that will inevitably them gaining the legal right to order full pitchers of beer in bars!!!

Also, there's this highly scientific chart among the page's photos:

Science
We have no idea who's behind this page or why they think pinko Commie beer pitchers are an imminent threat. But if you, too, want to get your inner McCarthy on, here's the link to the page. And if you're a red who dreams of a 64-ounce pitcher of Heady Topper, well, keep dreaming.

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