Radio Daze

Driving to work this morning, I was flipping through radio stations and came to rest upon Mike and Chantal in the Morning on 95 Triple X. I tuned in just in time to hear Chantal say something to the effect of, "thirty-eight percent of men report being too shy to ask for what they want in bed." To which, Mike responded with something like, "That's the gay men."

Wait. What?

Apparently Mike is under the impression that gay men still hide their sexual predilections for fear of. . . what? Ridicule? Violence? In my experience, gay men are the most open when it comes to telling their partners — and, in some cases, the whole world — exactly what they like in bed. Luckily, Chantal set Mike straight (so to speak).

But, Mike's mistake isn't the point of this post (after listening to Mike and Chantal for years, I'm fairly certain Mike has no issues with the gays). The point of this post is this: Why are men afraid to tell their partners what they want in bed?

I've never been a girl to say no to much of anything, so I'm always somewhat surprised to hear about women who balk at doing it doggy style or refuse to put their husbands' penises in their mouths (two of my most-favorite things). Now seems like the perfect time for a disclaimer: CLEARLY, if a woman is morally opposed to certain sex acts, or if specific acts bring up less-than-happy memories for her, she shouldn't do them. However, if these oppositions are being communicated clearly and effectively to the male partners, why would they be afraid to discuss their other desires? Religious/family guilt? Embarrassment? Not wanting to "taint" lily-white female partners by doing it dirty?

Okay. So, I really have no point. Do you?  I'm interested in hearing your thoughts about why 38% of men would be afraid to share with their partners (straight or gay).

MM

Comments

[notme]

The only time I've ever been nervous is when I still felt like it was early in the relationship. There is something to be said for taking things slow.

I think also that if a woman has rejected one thing, some guys might be reluctant to ask for anything else they think she might say no to.

[theleduo]

mike & chantal are ridiculous! those phone 'pranks' they do are the most lazy, stupid comedy i've ever heard! you would be much better off listening to the radiator 105/9 or wruv 90/1. sorry for the rant...

JB

[Big Al]

Because it can be like opening pandora's box, pun intended. A lot of married women, and others, have this habit of remembering EVERYTHING their man says and then dredges it up at a time that is convenient for them in a disagreement. In the immediate sense, once a man has revealed something to his partner that he would like, and it is disagreeable to her, she will most likely hold it against him, if not immediately, at some point. Probably the most dangerous thing a man could reveal to his partner is a desire to bring in a third partner. Even if she says no and he graciously agrees to stand by her decision, many women would grow suspicious of their partner and suspect that cheating on them is their man's A-1 top priority. Granted, this is an extreme example, but the same logic applies on different scales. No, this is not a personal sore spot, but an observation of others over the years. Is this everyone? Absolutely not. But I'm willing to be that this mindset is quite common and I think it's probably the single best explanation for your subject matter.

[MistressMaeve]

JB,

Wow, the LeDuo reads my blog? I'm flattered!

No, no — feel free to rant anytime. I am perpetually all over the place, both in life and on the radio dial. As embarrassed as I should be to admit my addiction to crappy pop music, played at sped up speeds on 95XXX, I will admit to needing it like a junkie needs a fix. Unfortunately, it does mean that I listen to a couple phone scams here and there. Mostly they make me feel uncomfortable, either because they sound totally made up or because someone is actually being humiliated in public.

Does the Radiator have a show that plays Justin Timberlake and past American Idols losers? ;)~

MM