More Onion-y Fun

I have, yet again, been saving up food-related articles from The Onion. Here are a few for your Friday evening reading pleasure:

~ Potential Employee Uprising Quelled with Free Pizza

~ Piggly Wiggly Scouting Report Indicates J.J. Hardy Enjoys Rib-Eye Steaks

~ Tomato Genetically Modified to be More Expensive

~ Nation's Poorest 1% Now Controls Two-Thirds of U.S. Soda Can Wealth

~ Desperate Chives Marketing Board Launches 'Big Bowl o' Chives in the Mornin'' Campaign