Pickle in a Bag!
On my whirlwhind trip to the Southern U.S. a couple of weeks ago, I came across an old favorite food packaged in an unusual way: A single, chunky dill pickle, swimming in brine, inside of plastic bag.
Since my two siblings and I are fanatical about pickled foods (artichokes, olives, cucumbers, beans and so on), I just had to invest the $1.49 it cost for me to acquire the 5 calorie, "cholesterol-free" delight, which also boasts a generous quantity of yellow #5.
It turns out that my very own pickle in a bag was flavored with "hot dill." It was firm of texture, although not as crisp as a Claussens model, and was spicy enough to make my mouth tingly for a few minutes. Since the pickles are shelf-stable for up to two years, it could be good to stock up on these, along with duct tape and flashlights, in case of emergencies such as blizzards or terrorist attacks.
If you want a PIB (or a whole stash) of your very own, you can find them online. The maker, Freestone, has been around since 1903 and is a "proud member of the Pickle Packers International trade association." They also run a 24-hour-a-day pickle store, because "loyal Freestone pickle fans [read: pregnant women] crave pickles at all hours."
What they neglect to mention is that Freestone can't beam your pickles to you via teleportation and the US postal service doesn't give a shit about your late night hankerings, so you probably won't get that late-night pickle you crave for several days. A dream deferred.