Hatin' with the Phelpses- part 4
11:15 a.m.- After a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday outside of OZ Synagogue- "Happy Birthday to Kennedy's death, Happy Birthday to Kennedy's death, the Jews lost their favorite waterboy, Happy Birthday to Kennedy's death"- the Phelpses piled into their sweet Kia Sedona and hightailed it out of town. Please indulge me in a few observations:
1. The Phelpses (and I say Phelpses because there wasn't a one of them who wasn't part of the clan. They like to keep in the fam, nomsayin?) are nothing if not law-abiding. There's not a jaywalker among them. They hit every crosswalk and followed every directive they're given by police. When they were told to stand in the greenbelt outside of Chabad, goshdarnit, they stood in the greenbelt. I bet they even drive the speed limit.
2. The Phelpses are really fast walkers. Shirls is a powerhouse. She could go to the Hate Olympics for speedwalking.
3. The Phelpses are really bad singers. No, like REALLY bad. Like braying donkey bad.
4. The Phelpses are not nice. Despite appearances, they're actually pretty mean. Shirls told me I didn't look like a professional journalist. Ok, what part of my jeans, T-shirt, sneaker outfit made me look unprofessional?
5. The Phelpses don't really have their facts straight. Shirls called Seven Days a "fag paper," which I take exception to since neither of the female owners of the paper are fags. They're not even dykes. WTF!!! Factcheck, Shirls, before you make outrageous claims like that.
Oh, how I love college kids.
Nothin' says get the hell out of our state like a little pie in the face.
Lauren --
You rock! Thanks so much for liveblogging this.
Posted by: Liz Schlegel | September 01, 2009 at 11:43 AM
Tremendous coverage. Thank you Lauren!
Posted by: Maggie Gundersen | September 01, 2009 at 12:19 PM
What is the point of coverage like this? Everyone already knows these guys are insane--giving them more time in the spotlight just distracts us from the more moderate Christians who are quietly eroding things like reason and science.
Posted by: Michele | September 01, 2009 at 12:22 PM
Guess you can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
I think the point of "coverage like this" is to realize that none of us should take ourselves too seriously. I'd much rather read something like this than read a "straight" write-up in the Freeps.
Posted by: David | September 01, 2009 at 01:55 PM
Well, that's like saying my invisible person in the sky is better than your invisible person in the sky.
Posted by: Laban | September 01, 2009 at 02:20 PM
Thanks for the coverage Lauren. Glad it went down as it did.
Posted by: Jace Sheppard | September 01, 2009 at 03:08 PM
The Dali Lama said, when asked why he wasn't more angry about the Chinese treatment of Tibetans, "You have to pity someone whose karma is that bad...."
Well, do I HAVE TO pity these idiots? I suppose since they already sucked all the Hate out of the room, that's all that's left...
Great job, Lauren!
Posted by: Jeanne Keller | September 01, 2009 at 03:33 PM
Well covered, and thank you for giving the phelpses exactly as much respect as they deserve. So glad that the voices of love and peace are far louder than the voices of hatred and ignorance!
Posted by: Becca Clark | September 01, 2009 at 03:43 PM
Lauren Ober, I love you. But not in that dyke-y kind of way.
Posted by: Kaela Plant | September 01, 2009 at 04:52 PM