Help New Hampshire Get Sexy
In Sunday's Boston Globe, there was a funny little article lamenting the fact that New Hampshire can't figure out how to market itself. Pitiful. Or pitiable. One of those two. Poor New Hampshire has neither Maine's iconic lobsters, nor does it have Vermont's maple syrup. Granted, New Hampshire has syrup. A lot of it. But it doesn't have the cachet that Vermont's liquid gold has. Nobody buys their friends New Hampshire maple syrup for Christmas, unless they're trying to say "I like you, but not that much."
The only thing New Hampshire had going for it, in a marketing sense, was that Old Man of the Mountain, but he fell off the mountain in 2003. Now, New Hampshire's got bupkus.
Well, that's not entirely true. They have an Ivy League university (Dartmouth), a world-class motor speedway (Loudon), the shortest coastline in America (18 miles) and the most bitchin' state slogan in the country (Live Free or Die). According to the N.H. tourism flacks interviewed for the article, they actually have everything. Their problem is they can't pinpoint which one of those super sexy things to highlight.
It's not like they need the tourists — according to the article, N.H. had about 34 million visitors to its granite hills in 2008. That's more than Maine's nearly 32 million visitors and far more than Vermont's paltry and somewhat startling/embarrassing 14 million (in 2007).
They misdrew Vermont on this sign. Figures. They're just jealous we're not upside down.
Though N.H. nabs the tourists just fine, there's just nothing quite catchy about the state. Sure, the first potato in the U.S. was grown in N.H., and sure, the highest recorded wind speed happened at Mt. Washington. Oh, and don't forget that America's number one tax on poor people — the lottery — was started in New Hampshire. But what is really special about New Hampshire?
No, really. Tell me what's special about New Hampshire. I've only been there once and it was by accident.
Since Vermont enjoys superlative status among its contemporaries, I figured maybe Vermont might be willing to help out its easternmost neighbor with a few ideas that will really get N.H. on the map.They don't need to hire some fancy branding company from Florida to tell them how to sex up their state. They just need to ask us.
So have at it, Vermonters. What's good about New Hampshire? If we've got cows and syrup, steeples and covered bridges, Phish and Ben & Jerry's in Vermont, what does New Hampshire have? I'll give you some help:
J.D. Salinger (dead)
Bode Miller (alive)
Crazy early primaries
Laconia Bike Week
No sales tax
No income tax
Sarah Silverman (N.H.-bred)
Mt. Washington auto road
Anheuser-Busch Clydesdales
Alan Shepard (America's first astronaut, also dead)
But what else? The best idea gets my undying esteem, and maybe a container of Stonyfield Farms yogurt. For further motivation, consult the Granite State of Mind video below.
Christa McAuliffe (also dead) who I was planning on mentioning before I saw her photo above. But rockin' cool, was Christa.
Posted by: Siobhan | June 15, 2010 at 07:56 AM
"America's number one tax on poor people — the lottery"
The lottery is a tax on the stupid, not the poor. There are plenty of poor people who are smart enough to have never bought a lottery ticket.
Posted by: Jimmy | June 15, 2010 at 09:53 AM
Having lived in New Hampshire for 5 years before moving to Vermont I can attest to the fact that NH is very "bland." I would also surmize that a large number of those 34 million "visitors" were people that stopped off at one of the large state run liquor stores that line I95 and I93 as you head to Maine and VT.
Posted by: Jeff | June 15, 2010 at 02:11 PM
Ah man, for real? I'm definitely not the biggest fan of NH, in particular - their constant marketing & push of alcohol and tobacco, but man - the white mountains..NH is the place to hike the WHITE MOUNTAINS!
Posted by: Ryan | June 15, 2010 at 10:28 PM
If we didn't have New Hampshire, what would be our whipping boy? You be grateful for New Hampshire. Without it, Vermont would have to confront its own shortcomings. Plus, Jodi Picoult lives in New Hampshire!
Posted by: Jackie | June 17, 2010 at 03:12 PM
We have nice people!
Posted by: Judi Window | June 17, 2010 at 04:03 PM
The liquor store on the highway is pretty great. And can't you buy fireworks in New Hampshire... or am I making that up?
Posted by: Diane | June 18, 2010 at 01:44 PM
NH did have the Old Man on the Mountain -- but didn't his nose fall off?
Posted by: Mistress Maeve | June 19, 2010 at 03:58 PM
You forgot Seth Meyers and Adam Sandler!
PJ O'Rourke and Mark Steyn
And the first in the nation TEA PARTY coalition!
So there!
And yes you can buy fireworks!
Vermont is for wimpy hippies..NH is for MEN, real men.
Posted by: NH | June 29, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Yes, real men like H. H. Holmes - America's first serial killer. He was born and raised in Gilmanton, New Hampshire.
Wimpy? You guys like to brag like you're such libertarian badasses, but our gun laws are the least restrictive in the entire country. You're just jealous that there's no permitless concealed carry law named after you.
Posted by: Molly | July 04, 2010 at 12:54 PM