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September 22, 2010

Salmon Reigns on the Scarecrow

I suspect there's a whole generation of politicians who, deep down inside, are just frustrated rock stars who dream of stalking the stage, a la Mick Jagger. That was evident last weekend when State Auditor Tom Salmon, who's running for reelection in November on the GOP ticket, took the mic at the Tunbridge World's Fair to belt out his version of John Mellencamp's "Rain on the Scarecrow." Check it out here.


Music reviews fall outside my purview as a news writer, but suffice it to say, Mellencamp's lament about the death of the American family farm was a good song choice for Salmon, considering his Orange County audience.

Which left me wondering: What song would Salmon's Democratic challenger, Doug Hoffer, counter with? The logical choice would be Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant." Hoffer's resume includes his stint as the restaurant's maître d' back in the ’70s.

Any other musical requests for these or other statewide candidates? Please send 'em our way and we'll let the band know. Please note: There will be NO swimsuit contest in this race.

This is atrocious. Is this guy drunk? He's absolutely the most rigid white man I've ever seen.


Delivery -- 1 point out of 10
Costume -- .02 out of 10
Trueness To Original -- 1 out of 10
Air Guitar Believability -- 0 out of 10
Fist Bump Quality -- 1 out of 10
Bump To Campaign -- -3 out of 10

You won't be joining the rest of the finalists in Montpelier Thomas. Go home now.

"Bump to campaign"? On what planet does anyone care whether a State Auditor can rock out? The fact that the guy's the only CPA in the race is slightly more important.

Maybe Hoffer should reconsider restaurant work. Whatever he's doing now left him unable to loan his own campaign $3K for a few weeks, and he's not going to come close to getting the job he's applying for.

You know, Jimmy, sometimes I wonder why you even bother reading Blurt, since you don't seem to like what anyone here writes.

Maybe you should just devote a whole other blog to your comments? I'd read it.

I like plenty of what people write. You want me to do the GMD thing and just write "hear, hear" after every comment I agree with?

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