Blurt: Seven Days Staff Blog

NOTE: Blurt has been retired and is no longer updated regularly. For new content, follow these links:

OFF MESSAGE: Vermont News and Politics
BITE CLUB: Food and Drink Blog
ARTS AND MOVIES NEWS: Updated at sevendaysvt.com

« McCain: Britton vs Leahy is 'Sleeper' Race of 2010 | Main | New Leak Found at Vermont Yankee »

October 21, 2010

What I Want From My Governor

Image Governor Jim Douglas Vermont During this election season, I've been thinking a lot about what I want from my politicians, and in particular, from my governor. Now, this is dangerous since I know somewhere between not much and absolute bubkes about politics. OK, that's not necessarily true — I work for a newspaper, so I'm not totally out of the loop — but I'm no wonk. Or Wonkette. Whatever.

If you ask most people what they want to see from their politicians, they'll likely say honesty, integrity, forthrightness and fresh breath. Oh, and the willingness to cut taxes. And the ability to keep their wieners under control. 

But not me. I'm looking for something a little more basic from my governor. Below is a list (illustrated with helpful photos) of things I want my leaders to be good at. If Shumlin and Dubie can handle these tasks, then I'd be happy to throw either man my vote. 

RIBBON CUTTING

Meadow1

GROUND BREAKING

Shovels1

 

GIANT CHECK HOLDING

Web_eastviewcheck5783.preview

PROCLAMATION SIGNING

Lordrenationaledt

 

HAND SHAKING

3378773081_f888e31dc5

 

CRAFTING

Governor Douglas receives hand-made poster from Oak Hill Childcare Center

HONORARY DEGREE RECEIVING

Douglas

 

PODIUM STANDING

A1bigjoe_I100709184555


FISHING

Governor Jim Douglas fishing in Montpelier

And, in the event of a tie (with regard to ability to perform aforementioned tasks), I will use the following to determine who gets my precious vote for guv: 

 

THE ABILITY TO PERFORM TWO OR MORE OF THESE TASKS AT ONCE

Chuang-graduation

Hand shaking and honorary degree receiving? At the same time? Uncle Jim, you're an ANIMAL! 


Could we also go back to the days of Howard Dean and add "walking down the street in shirt sleeves and speaking directly to citizens"? I've missed that function!

The fact that Douglas regularly takes shit for doing things that every Governor - including the next one - does/will do only goes to show what a good Governor he was.

Liz, I saw him chatting with people in a store a few months ago, does that count? Or does it have to be on the street?

I've shaken hands with both Brian Dubie and Peter Shumlin. Dubie's wrists are small and shaking his hand is like holding a dead fish: clammy and heavy. Peter Shumlin on the hand, man, what a handshake! FIrm, but not too firm. Quick but thoughtful. Good eye contact. He has big hands and I think he could hold a HUGE check or one of those oversized pairs scissors they use to cut ribbons. I think Dubie would drop the check and the scissors and someone could really get hurt and who wants to see that happen? Vote for Shumlin.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Stuck in VT (VIDEOS)

Solid State (Music)

Mistress Maeve (Sex)

All Rights Reserved © Da Capo Publishing Inc. 1995-2012 | PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164 | 802-864-5684