Pinch Hitting

Dear Mistress Maeve,

After a decade of living every gay man’s dream bachelor life in San Francisco, I met and fell in love with the perfect man while vacationing in Vermont. I fell for him so hard that I moved here to be closer to him. We have the same sense of humor, the same spiritual beliefs and the same career and family goals. There is just one problem: we’re both tops. I’m more passive in everyday life, but in the bedroom, we keep butting heads – and not the right ones. Can two tops make it work?

Tell me what to do!
Russell

Dear Russell,

Didn’t you do any prescreening about this issue before you hopped a plane to live happily ever after? Perhaps you were just too smitten to face the reality of your sexual incompatibility? If you want to continue this relationship, you have some teamwork to do. Having spent much time in the gay community admiring its many sexual subcultures and traditions, I must say this: gay men need to be more open. If gay men stopped worrying so much about who was supposed to be the top, the bottom or the meat in a three-way man sandwich, everyone would have much more fun. I suggest picking up Gay Men and Anal Eroticism: Tops, Bottoms and Versatiles by Steven G. Underwood (Harrington Park Press, 2003). Through interviews with gay men, the author reveals the psychological secrets behind being top, bottom or other. Reading this book together would give you and your love insight into what the other is looking for in the bedroom. Solving this problem will demand that both of you make some concessions in the sack, but it could be fun. If you’re both willing to switch positions and catch while the other pitches, you might just hit a homerun.

Batter up,
MM