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Friday, November 17, 2006

Going Postal

Dear Mistress Maeve,

16575045I have a crush on my friendly neighborhood postman. We've actually only conversed once, but I think the attraction is mutual. However, I don't know how to express my interest unless I'm willing to wait by the mailbox for his arrival — which is a little too obvious for my taste. I thought I might send a little "love letter," but is it a federal offense to use your own mailbox to flirt with your carrier? I haven't sent love notes since junior high school, so I don't even know where to begin. Please help! Any advice would be invaluable.


Dear USPS Fan,

Oh, yes — wait a minute, Mr. Postman! Sounds like you're crushing hard on the man in blue, and this is the perfect time of year to make contact. People traditionally thank their mail carrier around the holidays by leaving a card and a tip or gift in the mailbox (I can only assume that this practice is not illegal since people have been doing it for ages). Next week is Thanksgiving, so why not "show your gratitude" with a little gift? If I were you, I'd choose movie tickets or a gift certificate for tickets to Higher Ground. In your note, you can suggest that if he needs a date, he can give you a call. Don't be shy, just channel your inner sex kitten and make it happen.

Best of luck, and remember to leave a comment with a report of your progress.


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