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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Ring It In Right

30402041_1Dear Mistress Maeve,

My New Year's Resolution is to have more sex. I'm pretty much your average 30-something single white Vermont male. I'm no George Clooney, but I clean up pretty nicely. I've been laying low in 2006, getting over a break up, but I want 2007 to be my big comeback. I've never had a wild sex life, and I feel it's time to sow some oats. Mistress, I'm ready, willing and able; will you show me the way?


Dear Sam,

I like your enthusiasm. I wish more people were as willing as you are to take charge of their sex lives and strive for optimum satisfaction. Unfortunately, unless you resolve to pay professionals for your sexual pleasure, there is no way to guarantee more sex in 2007 — and for a multitude of reasons, I do not recommend paying for sex.

You need to get your edge back and find the confidence that inevitably waned during your year away from the social scene. You claim to clean up nicely, so do it — get a new haircut, buy some new clothes and find a new scent (but, please, go easy on the cologne). While you're at it, get your friends cleaned up, too. You'll need wingmen when you hit the town, and you don't want your friends' ragged appearances to weigh you down.

Try the new hotspots in town to meet potential mates casually, but if you're serious about adding more notches to your bedpost this year, you'll have to broaden your search. Attend an upcoming Seven Days singles event and sign up for online personals at I like online dating because you can be specific about what you're looking for, and in your case, this is of the utmost importance. You must be honest with potential sexual partners and let them know that you're only interested in casual dating and sex. I promise you — if you are dishonest about your intentions, your New Year's resolution will turn into a nightmare.

And while you're at it, add one more resolution to your list — safer sex in 2007. Don't ruin this fun and exciting year with one night of stupidity. Get a clean bill of health before you hit the dating scene and pledge to keep yourself and your new partners healthy in the New Year.

Midnight Kisses,

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