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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Three's Company?

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I have three girls who are interested in me, and I in them. This has never happened to me before! I can see how most stereotypical men would wonder how this constitutes a problem for me, but I am looking for a long, lasting relationship.

These three women are wonderful beyond my wildest dreams. I am not a player and do not wish to hurt them. I feel arrogant and greedy, but I can’t choose yet. Should I tell them about one another? I fear that honesty might drive them all away. How can I choose one woman over another? I beg your assistance, Mistress.

Wandering Maverick

Dear WM,

From where I stand, you don’t have a problem; you have an opportunity to find love. As long as you keep your integrity intact, you can handle this situation with minimal damage to all parties involved. First and foremost, do not tell these three women about one another specifically. Instead, tell each one that while you truly enjoy her company, you are not yet ready to make a commitment. You will have to accept the possibility that they might see other people, too — hey, fair is fair. You are not obligated to share your dating schedule with these women, but you should be honest about seeing other people, especially if you’re sexually active with more than one of these lovely ladies (and, please, use protection).

Time will reveal who your real match is, but it’s not nice to string these women along for too long — nor is it good for your Karma. Have you considered taking a weekend away from all three women? Spending some time reconnecting with yourself, without dating pressures, might be just what you need to gain clarity. You may end up missing one woman more than the others or thinking about one more consistently. Also, if you haven’t done so already, introduce these women to your friends and ask their opinions. Just remember — this is not a Ms. America pageant, and these three women deserve to be treated with the respect and reverence you put forth in your letter.

If love is a gamble, I like your odds. You are in the enviable position of having three potential mates betting on your affection, and you’re holding all the cards. If you play your hand right, you might win with a pair of hearts instead of a full house.

Ante up,

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