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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Web of Addiction

Dear Mistress Maeve,

19109004I don’t know how to handle my man’s addiction to Internet porn. While I’m normally pretty open-minded about anything in our sex life, I hate feeling second best to plastic-surgery-enhanced bimbos. The biggest part of the problem is that he feels as if he can’t stop searching the web for porn. He will blank out for hours, flipping from one dirty screen to the next. His porn surfing has made him spacey, distant and depressed, and he has rung up thousands of dollars worth of bills. Is Internet addiction a real disease? How can it be treated? Help!

Not a Porn Star But Still Hot


Dear NAPSBSH,

Internet pornography addiction is real, and if your guy “blanks out for hours” while surfing for sex on the Internet, I’m afraid he’s got a problem. Internet porn addiction is just like other non-substance, impulse-based addictions such as shopping, gambling or overeating. A Google search for Internet porn addiction turns up countless personal stories from men whose addictions kept them up until the wee hours of the morning, making it difficult for them to function at work or be emotionally or physically available to their partners.

While it’s lovely that you care about your man and want to help him, it’s also important to look out for yourself. Before he messes up his life — or yours — any further, an intervention is in order. Let him know that because you love him so much, you want him to address his addiction with the help of a therapist or counselor. He may balk at your suggestion or try to downplay the magnitude of his addiction, so be prepared with real consequences if he doesn’t seek help immediately. He needs to understand that his compulsive behavior has real life ramifications, including the possibility of losing the woman he loves. If you’re nervous about doing this alone, enlist the help of a close friend or family member — someone he trusts.

Being in a relationship with an addict is heartbreaking. Whether he or she is addicted to heroin or Ho-Hos, the affects on a relationship can be devastating. Do yourself and your man a favor — address the problem now, before it gets worse for both of you.

xoxo,
MM

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