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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Thrice as Nice?

Dear Mistress Maeve,

In general, I'm what you might call a “good girl.” But lately, I’ve been intensely attracted to a couple I met through friends. He’s handsome and good-natured with a hot body, and she’s incredibly sexy and sensual with a knack for turning me on. When we hang out, we all flirt and have a good time, but I can’t tell if they want to take it to the next level and actually have a threesome. They seem to have a great relationship, and I certainly don’t want to cause any trouble — but I’m so hot for them! If they are interested, how do I proceed?

Third Wheel

Dear TW,

In a threesome relationship, you are in the easiest position as the “third wheel.” No matter what happens between the three of you, you don’t stand to lose very much if your three-way fantasy becomes a three-alarm emergency. You can be footloose and fancy free while the couple in this scenario may have to examine deeper issues that inviting a third to join them in the bedroom brings to the surface.

That said, if you are determined to pursue this triangle of attraction, you must follow some simple rules of three-way engagement for the single partner:

1. Set ground rules. Do not just jump into bed with this couple. Go out for drinks or dinner and discuss the possibilities. Find out what their expectations are and see if you’re all on the same page sexually. For example, one partner might be more into watching while the other has a certain fantasy he or she wants fulfilled. And be sure to discuss safe sex — just because they're in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you’re safe.

2. Respect their relationship. You are not looking for emotional connection here. If you feel yourself falling for one partner, or becoming emotionally dependent on the relationship in any way, end it immediately.

3. Keep everyone happy and involved. As the single sex goddess in this situation, do your best to ensure everyone is having a good time. Be sure to flirt, kiss and pet each partner equally. I have heard time and again about threesomes going awry because one partner felt left out. It’s ridiculous! With so many sexual positions and options, everyone should be able to be somewhat involved in every sexual act.

I’ve had many three-way trysts, some lasting for an evening and others much longer. While three-ways can be incredibly exciting, they are also potentially explosive and must be handled with care. Initially, be a quiet observer — watch them interact as a couple and imagine how you might “insert” yourself into their relationship. If things progress, enjoy yourself, but follow the rules and watch for signs of jealousy or discomfort — you’ll know when it’s time for your final triple kiss.

Kiss, kiss, kiss,

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