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Monday, April 02, 2007

Spring Fever

It was a beautiful weekend in Vermont — the sun was shining, the birds were singing and downtown Burlington was teeming with horny singles looking to bust out of winter hibernation mode and get their swerves on. The sexual tension in most places — from bars to the local market — was palpable. Exiting the market and heading to my car on Sunday afternoon, I overheard two twentysomething women greet their twentysomething male friend. The conversation went something like this:

Woman #1: Hey! What's up?

Man: Not much, just enjoying the weather.

Women #2: Totally. What did you do this weekend?

Man: Hung out outside, drank my body weight in liquor and tried to get girls to sleep with me.

I think this guy deserves an award. His response, while funny, was about as honest as I've ever heard anyone be about sexual hunger. Yes, he was probably joking and trying to get a laugh from his female friends — but why? Because he wants to sleep with them, too (probably with both of them at the same time).

His honesty prompted me to think — what if we all decided to be brutally honest about our sexual desires? What if it wasn't taboo to announce that you're sexually frustrated and need some action? I went through a dry spell recently, and I ranted and raved to my friends about how I didn't have anyone to sleep with — when in reality, I probably know twenty guys and girls who would have gladly put me out of misery had I simply asked them to bed.

I was so taken by this guy's honesty that I nearly dropped my grocery bags, raised my hand and said, "I'll do you." There's a lot to be said for subtle flirtation, but when all the snow has finally melted and sun is shining — why pussyfoot around? Just remember — safety first.

Buzz, buzz, chirp, chirp,

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