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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Double Time

Dear Mistress Maeve,

For the last couple years, I’ve been enjoying a convenient relationship with a guy who lives four hours away. We dated in college, and now we email, talk on the phone (read: have phone sex) and see each other every few months for a weekend. I do care about him, and I think he cares about me too — but we’re both too realistic to bring our relationship to the next level. Neither one of us is ready to move.

Now, here comes the monkey wrench. I recently met a great guy who lives here in Vermont. We’ve been on two dates, had our first (great) kiss, and we already have another date planned. I have a good feeling about him, but what do I do about my relationship of convenience? Should I tell him I’ve started dating someone else? Do I have to stop having phone sex?! What would you do, Mistress?

Two Timin’

Dear TT,

What would I do? Pop the champagne! You’ve hit the casual dating jackpot — you’ve got one long-distance stud to call when you’re horny and one Vermont cutie to take you out on the town. As long as things remain casual, you can continue dating both gentlemen; however, if one of them asks if you’re seeing anyone else, it’s best to be honest. Don’t go overboard with the details — simply let him know that until your relationship gets more serious, you consider yourself a free agent.

Dating multiple people can be a great time for self-reflection — it forces you to think about what you truly desire from a partner and from life. Just be sure to keep your conscience clean. You won’t always be able to protect others from hurt feelings, but you can do your best to navigate potential dating disasters with kindness. As soon as you feel your heart tugging strongly in one direction, let the other guy go immediately — no one likes to be played for a fool.

Oh, and one last thing — while you may not be in danger of your two hunks’ running into each other on Church Street, you should still be careful not to call out the wrong name during naughty phone time.

Ring, ring,

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