Oh, Baby!

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My boyfriend has an unusual kink. When we’re having sex, he likes to talk about impregnating me. Even though I’m on the pill, he likes to pretend we’re trying to get pregnant. He has asked me to say things like, “Make me a baby” and “Make my belly grow.”

In the beginning, I played along because I was flattered that he trusted me enough to share his fantasy, but now he wants it all the time. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but his fantasy does not turn me on. If our relationship develops and we end up getting married and starting a family, I don’t want getting pregnant to be a dirty act — I want it to be beautiful.

I don’t mind indulging him sometimes, but I how can I tell him to cool it on the pregnancy talk without scarring him or making him feel like I’ve been lying to him all along?

Thanks,
Prepartum Depression

Dear PD,

Impregnation fantasies are not uncommon, so don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.
A simple online search turns up many sites offering erotic stories and explanations about impregnation fetishes. Most resources say that men enjoy the idea of impregnating their partners because it makes them feel potent and virile. Some people argue that human males have an animalistic need to spread their seed; thus, men with impregnation fantasies are simply acting out their most base instincts.

Talk with your man about his fantasy. Ask him questions about why he likes the idea of impregnating you and how he came to crave it. I don’t like playing in anyone’s fantasyland without knowing the terrain, plus it’s more erotic when you know the source of the kink. Also, let him know how you’re feeling — he won’t alter his behavior if he doesn’t know it’s bothering you.

The bottom line is, if you’re uncomfortable with this kink, don’t participate. Sex with your partner should make you feel good, not labored (pun intended). If you and your partner cannot come to a better understanding about this issue, it might be time for you to give birth to a new relationship.

Later, baby,
MM

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