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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Come Again?

Dear Mistress Maeve,

For most of my sexual life, after having an orgasm, I would always make the man stop touching me because my clitoris and vagina felt too spent and sensitive. However, things with my current boyfriend are different.
Now, instead of wanting him to stop, I want my boyfriend to continue stimulating me after I come. When he does this, I feel a sense of complete abandon and ecstasy that I have never experienced before. I can continue to come, and I once even had a fit of reflexive laughter.
Some of my questions are: Am I experiencing "multiple orgasms" — or are extended orgasms and multiple orgasms different? Why would I have the experience of laughing reflexively during orgasm and why only once? Why did my experience of orgasm change?

Lady O

Dear Lady O,

Kudos to you and your boyfriend for exploring the heights of your pleasure. Too often women are afraid to ask for what we want out of fear of being a "burden" to our partners. But the fact of the matter is, we are capable of many rounds of orgasms, and our partners should be willing to take on the task. Perhaps your experience of orgasm changed when you found a trusted partner who was open to fulfilling your needs?

You are not alone in your confusion about multiple orgasms. For some women, multiple orgasms don't often feel like a string of independent events. Rather, having multiple orgasms can feel like one prolonged action. We deem them "multiple" because it seems the easiest way to differentiate them from the usual one-hit-wonder male orgasm. (Hey, when did we start defining our sex by male standards, anyway?)

As for the laughing, it's completely natural. I've run the gamut of emotional outbursts during and after orgasm — from tears of joy to raging anger. Many of us are at our most vulnerable during sex, particularly post-orgasm. When we're that open, any emotion is likely to rear its head. Just embrace it — it's all part of the ride.

Many happy returns,

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