With Us, It's Personal

I'm a pretty tough broad. I played ice hockey. I've been in bar fights (and won). But, this past week, I met my match. I was completely laid out and put to shame by. . . the flu. Did you know this is supposedly the worst flu season in recent memory? Let me tell you — there's nothing sexy about body aches, runny eyes and a hacking cough. Gross.

By Sunday, I was out of everything, from tissues to Tylenol. So I got dressed for the first time in five days and ventured out to my local Rite Aid Pharmacy. I was anticipating a ho-hum trip to the store, but that's not what I got. As I rounded the corner from beauty aids, headed to the medicine aisle, I saw it — the personal care section. And what was front and center, at eye-level, on the shelf? A vibrator. A fucking VIBRATOR. At RITE AID.

There it was, the Durex Little Gem "personal massager" for $39.99. And lest anyone confuse it with a back or neck massager, this vibe with "flutter action" was positioned smack between Rite Aid's own brand of "warming" lubricant and the biggest condom selection I've seen anywhere. Nope — no mistaking. Rite Aid is in the adult toy business.

I have to say, I'm impressed. It's tough to find the brands you like and products you need in Vermont, but now I know that I can get Astroglide, female condoms and a new vibrator right up the road. And, hey, talk about convenience — I can also get Monistat and Summer's Eve in the same aisle (sad, but true — sometimes extended sexual interludes can leave us a little worse for wear).

And had I not felt like the walking dead, I may have been motivated to buy that Little Gem and review it for y'all. But, alas, I'm still gross with flu. Maybe next time.