Smack That

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I'm 38 years old and seem to be having a premature midlife crisis.

It all started last week with a break-up. We met at a café, and, after finishing dinner, he decided to break the news. In my old age, I've lost my patience with insensitive men. I was so annoyed by his businesslike demeanor and the premeditated, choreographed way he planned things. For instance, he had me meet him at the café, rather than going there together (obviously so we would go our separate ways afterwards).

Well, the moment got the best of me and my frustration took over. I sarcastically thanked him for the dinner, got up, and walked calmly to his side of the table, then WHAP! I slapped him across the face and stormed out.
   
The resounding whack caught everyone's attention and undoubtedly caused him much embarrassment. Should I swallow my pride and call him to apologize? I hope I'm not becoming psychotic.

Signed,
38 and Frustrated

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Dear 38 and Frustrated,

First of all, drop the "old age" nonsense. Second, stop beating yourself up. You're not psychotic, and you're probably not having a midlife crisis. You're simply a living, breathing human being with emotions — that got the best of you this time around.

As satisfying as it probably was to slap him, it wasn't smart or attractive. The classier move would have been to collect yourself and calmly express your feelings before heading for the door with your composure and dignity intact. But we can't be perfect all the time, right?

I understand why you're upset. Going through the charade of dinner before dropping the break-up bomb wasn't very considerate of him. However, he probably thought he was minimizing the drama by extending a dinner invitation and taking separate cars. My guess is, he'll think twice about how he choreographs his break-ups in the future.   

Don't call him to apologize. The sooner you let this relationship go, the sooner you can focus on what really matters: you. Do this, and your next relationship will surely be a "hit."

Hugs and Smackers,
MM