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Friday, August 01, 2008

Too Hot For Print

It's your lucky week — you get more than one Q&A from yours truly. This particular column was deemed too hot for the newspaper — but just the right temperature for all you Internet heathens. Enjoy.

Titty fucker extraordinaire,

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I love everything about my girlfriend, especially her amazing breasts. They are large, round and perfect. I have this fantasy about titty fucking her into oblivion, but when we try it, it never culminates in the explosive orgasm I imagine in my dreams. Sometimes I can't get enough friction, or we use too much lube, or her knees hurt.

Maybe we're doing it wrong? Can you give us some pointers? Also, is there another name for titty fucking? My girlfriend cringes every time I say it, even though she likes the act.

Boob Man


Dear Boob Man,

I suppose you could call it breast boinking or knocker knockin', but in my book it's just plain titty fucking.

Titty fucking is a form of "outercourse" where the man thrusts his penis in between his partner's breasts, which are held together to create friction. Most people prefer to use a little lube between the boobs — chaffing on the penis or chest can be mighty uncomfortable, not to mention unsightly.

Sounds like you and your girl are opting for her kneeling in front of your johnson to do the deed, but I much prefer the male-dominated positions. For instance, try the cowboy — you straddle her torso while she holds her breasts together. This gives you a nice visual and doesn't wear her knees out — plus, if you're lucky, she'll use her mouth on the tip of your cock. If you're feeling adventurous, you can try the reverse cowboy where she has oral access to your scrotum, taint and anus.

Perhaps trying these new positions will help you achieve the "explosive orgasm" of your dreams — or perhaps it won't. Ejaculation isn't the be-all-and-end-all of sexual pleasure. If you enjoy dishing out the titty fucking, and she enjoys taking it, who cares if you come? Either way, you'll have mounds of fun.


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