Friendly Advice

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I feel trapped in a relationship with one of my good friends. We would be a horribly dysfunctional couple — but that hasn't stopped us from being attracted to each other for several years. We’ve tried being “just friends,” but it doesn’t usually work out, whether we are with other people or not. Both of us are unwilling and unable to sever ties, but I’m tired of feeling stuck in a relationship that isn’t really going anywhere. What should I do? Can a guy and a girl ever really be friends?

Sincerely,
Stuck

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Dear Stuck,

Casual sex with friends isn't always a bad idea, but if you're feeling emotionally "stuck," it's time to make a change. Consider the expression "When one door closes, another door opens." Until you fully close the door on this relationship and release each other from the emotional choke hold, you won't be free to move on to something more fulfilling.

Of course, I'm taking your word for it and assuming that you and your friend would be the world's worst couple — though I'm curious as to why you think you'd be so dysfunctional. It seems as if something is keeping you together: Could it be that you haven't given this relationship a proper try?

Men and women can be friends, but good friendships thrive on healthy boundaries. From the sound of it, you and your "friend" are severely lacking in the boundary department. It's time to figure out the parameters of your relationship and adhere to the limits. If you can't do that, perhaps it's time to make some new friends.

Your BFF,
MM