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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Distraction Satisfaction

Over the weekend, a friend thanked me for giving her some good advice, so I thought I'd pass it along.

After a longer-than-she-would-have-liked sexual dry spell, my friend hooked up with a guy she met at a bar. The next morning, he left his phone number for her (she didn't ask for it), which made her think he was at least interested in some additional booty calls. After waiting the obligatory few days, she left him a voicemail inviting him to hang out the upcoming weekend. He didn't call back.

Listen, dry spells are one thing — you learn to cope with cold showers, porn and sex toys solo on Saturday nights. However, hell hath no fury like a woman who came out of a dry spell for a one night stand only to get the shaft (figuratively, not literally). Her one-night romp had unleashed her sexual beast, and she needed to be satiated. Thus, when the weekend arrived, my friend had worked herself into a panicked frenzy over not getting laid again by this guy. So, I took it upon myself to shake her out of it. No, I didn't fuck her — but I told her she needed to hook up with someone — anyone — pronto, as to get her mind off of the one-night-stand douche-bag. So, I was an awesome wingwoman, and we made it happen.

Guess what? It worked. She was able to get it on with someone else, thereby snapping her out of her neurosis and reminding her that she's not only capable of landing one guy, but many, many guys (if she so chooses). There's power in seduction — it shouldn't be abused or substituted for other needs, but it can be damned fun and useful. Just do it safely, OK?

Oh, and one more thing. Guys: If you don't want us to call, don't leave your phone number, especially when we didn't ask for it in the first place. We're cool without it, mmmk?


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