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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Gym-nastics

Speaking of the Sex Survey...

While working out at the gym the other day, I was reminded of a response from the 2007 sex survey where a woman said she routinely got herself off at the gym. She said, "Surprisingly enough, the Nautilus sit-up machine . . . gets me off every time. The higher the weight, the faster it happens. It's a good thing everybody else in the room is making faces and breathing heavily."

According to Men's Health, the female "coregasm" is a relatively common experience at the gym (dubbed the "coregasm" because most women experience gym orgasms while engaging their core muscles). I've heard many of these elusive "coregasms" happen when women use the Roman Chair. Interesting.

I've never had a magical "coregasm" while doing crunches, but I came dangerously close the other day while riding the stationary bike. About a mile into my bike ride, I noticed a guy I'd never seen before. He was on the shorter side, stocky with huge calf muscles and thick forearms.

Nice.

I casually watched while he did some curls, some calf raises — but then came the back exercises. He was using a Nautilus machine, back to me, rowing the weight so I could see his delts and traps contract and release with every pull. I was suddenly turned on and realized that there was a seat grinding between my thighs. The faster I peddled, the more it egged me on. I couldn't help but think of that strong back propped up over me, all this hard work at the gym paying off. . .

Needless to say, I finished my five miles in record time. If he had just done one more set of back exercises, I think I would have showed everyone at the gym my O-face. Luckily, as the sex survey respondent suggested, who would really know? Everyone is panting, sweating and groaning at the gym anyway.

Wishing you a more exciting time at the gym,
MM

P.S. I don't care what anyone says, EVERYONE checks EVERYONE out at the gym. My supportive friends all say, "Oh, don't worry about what is (or is not) bouncing on the treadmill — no one's looking." Bull crap! I look at — and sexually fantasize about — nearly every person in the gym while I workout. How else am I suppose to get through the agony of exercise?!

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