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Friday, February 06, 2009

One Night Only?

 I came to a conclusion this week: I'm not a fan of one-night stands.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in full support of safely buying tickets to a "one night only" show; however, my vetting process is such that I usually won't sleep with someone unless I'm confident that he/she can do the job. If I'm spending the time to identify a great lay, why do it only once? The same rules apply — safe sex, discretion, no emotional entrapment — but I get the benefits of having a longer-term partner:

1. Sex with a partner gets better over time.

It takes a lot more than a few hours of buzzed fumbling to get to know a new partner. The more you get it on, the more you learn about what works for each other, thus making sex a more pleasurable experience for both parties. I am capable of having an orgasm the first time I'm with a new partner, but the orgasms are always better the second, third, fourth time. Plus, you get the benefit of flirtatious text messages and sexual tension until your next interlude — the build up is important.

2. Validation unleashes my inner sex kitten.

I freely admit to being a competitive person who thrives on praise and validation of my efforts. If you're coming back for a second helping, I'm going to feel even more confident than usual, leading to better sex.

3. Better variety.

I'm not a fan of having too many rules, but I won't do certain enjoyable sex acts the first time I sleep with someone — like receiving oral or anal. These acts, in particular, require me to give more intimately of myself, and I'm not going there the first time. Scoff, if you must — we all have our hang ups.

All that said, as I write this, I'm recalling one of the best sexual experience of my life. It was, in fact, a one-night stand (on New Year's Eve, no less). I only recently had a sexual encounter that rivaled the passion and satisfaction of that experience — and thank Goddess for that! For a while I was afraid the best sex of my life was a one-off, never to be replicated. I guess there's no real science to it, but a girl can try... (over and over again).


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