Waiting Period

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I'm hoping that by writing to you and getting your opinion, I can convince my girlfriend to have sex with me while she's having her period. I'm not some fetishist who gets off on menstrual blood. I'm just a guy who likes to have sex all the time, and a little blood once a month doesn't bother me. I've read where you say it's not a big deal to have sex while you're on the rag, and I'm hoping that if she reads your response, she might rethink her ban on period sex.

Help a brother out?

Max E. Pad

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Dear Max,

I hate to dash your hopes, but my job isn't to persuade your girlfriend to sleep with you when she doesn't want to. You might be wise to remember that your girlfriend's body is a gift she gives you on her own terms — not yours.

Have you bothered to ask her why she doesn't like having sex during her period? For some women, the bloating, cramping and fatigue caused by menstruation can make sex undesirable. For others, years of societal training leave them feeling embarrassed by bodily fluids and odors. Just watch a few hours of television, and you'll see numerous commercials for products designed to sanitize the entire vaginal area. Try talking with her about her feelings — more listening, less convincing.

Having sex during menstruation is fine — some women even claim that it alleviates cramps. If your girlfriend is worried about the cosmetic details, you can suggest placing a dark towel underneath her and keeping some baby wipes nearby to clean up any messes. However, if sex is uncomfortable for her during her period, you'll need to back off and respect her boundaries.

Going with the flow,
MM