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Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Over Oral?

Dear Mistress Maeve,

Recently I have noticed a startling trend in my hook-ups — blow jobs seem to have gone out of style.

I am more than willing to give — even if I don't receive — but guys are turning down my offers. I don't have a snaggle-tooth, and my oral skills have gotten rave reviews in the past. I am completely baffled by this turn of events. Is there some "giving head is uncool" sex memo that I missed? If so, I would like to object. I don't have a penis, so I enjoy becoming orally acquainted with them.

Perhaps I just attract men with a fear of oral satisfaction? Do you have any insights?

Orally Censored


Dear Orally Censored,

Blow jobs are the "little black dress" of sex— they never go out of style. A vast majority of men enjoy receiving oral, making your run-ins with these naysayers nothing more than unfortunate coincidence.

Popular culture would have us believe that giving blow jobs is akin to scrubbing toilets and mopping floors — nothing but a "chore" for the poor women who have to perform them. Perhaps these guys were trying to be considerate and save you from your "womanly duties." What some guys don't realize is that some of us gals get seriously turned on by going downtown.

Here's a memo for you: Communication is hot, so speak up. If giving him a hummer really revs your engine, tell him. I guarantee you'll be humming a tune in no time.


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