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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Keep It Clean

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I recently had a horribly embarrassing experience with anal sex. I'll spare you the gory details — let's just say, if cleanliness is next to godliness, I was dancing with the devil.
I know anal sex can get messy, but you must have some tips for avoiding unwelcome messes?

Signed,
Mrs. Clean

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Dear Mrs. Clean,

If you're going to do anal, you have to be prepared to get your hands dirty — but perhaps not literally.
Before anal play, have a bowel movement. Feces collect in the colon and only enter the rectum shortly before you feel the urge to go; so, as long as you have a movement before sex, you’re most likely in the clear. For added cleanliness, take a shower and gently insert a soapy finger into your rectum and rinse completely — I suggest using a mild, organic soap on your most delicate of parts.

A good BM and a shower should do the trick, but if you still have that not-so-fresh feeling, you can opt for an enema of lukewarm water. If you're looking for something less invasive, try a few squirts of warm water from an ear syringe to clear the way.

And, as always, keep a container of baby wipes by the bed for those unwelcome messes, because you know what they say — "it" happens.

Squeaky clean,
MM


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