Oldies But Goodies?

Dear Mistress Maeve,

Thirty-one-year-old male here with a bit of a problem. My girlfriend recently told me that she would like to be tied up — nothing extreme, just some innocent fun. This, of course, made me unbelievably turned on, and I admitted to her that I had some under-the-mattress restraints that I had purchased with a former girlfriend. My girlfriend got instantly steamed and told me that it was insulting to think she would use the same "sex toys" as another woman. I told her that I didn't think of restraints as "sex toys" and that we had only used them a few times (mostly on me). She was still offended. I just don't see the point in spending another $50 on new restraints when these are not "contaminated." What do you think, MM?

Bound and Determined

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Dear B and D,

I'd like to tie you up and smack some sense into you. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have a sexually adventurous girlfriend who is willing to leave vanilla behind and try some new flavors? Stop tying this stubborn knot and start tying up your girlfriend!

While I agree with you that restraints are less intimate than, say, dildos and butt plugs, your girlfriend still sees them as "contaminated" with emotional residue from your past relationship. Respect her feelings and get rid of the old shackles. And who says you need to spend $50? Sure, under-the-bed restraints are great, but neckties and scarves do just fine.

Believe me, if you continue to be as stubborn as a mule about this issue, you're only going to come off looking like an ass.

Kisses,
MM