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Friday, July 10, 2009

No muss, no fuss

Dear MM:
My friend browses Internet porn, and he recently commented on the amount of anal sex online. He says things (including dicks, of course) inserted anally always come out sparkling clean! Do they use enemas or something before turning the camera on? He’s just curious and said you would know . . .



Dear Anonymous,

Well, I'm so glad your friend thinks I'm the authority on enemas — that's a compliment.

While I can't say for sure whether or not the adult actors in question used enemas, it's a pretty good bet. To get ready for those intimate close-up shots, some actors will use an enema of lukewarm water beforehand (as opposed to that chemical stuff they package with one-time use enemas — if used too much, those chemicals can cause damage to the system).

For us regular folk, enemas are a bit extreme. I mean, come on, it's anal sex — you can't expect a squeaky clean ass every time. If you can't get over your fear of shit, you probably shouldn't be using the backdoor entrance, know what I'm saying?

As long as the receiver has a bowel movement and takes care to clean the area with soap and water beforehand (even gently inserting a soapy finger inside), you're pretty much in the clear. The giver should wear a condom with an ample amount of water-based lube — it will make insertion easier and keep things tidier (not to mention safer). Also, keep box of baby wipes nearby for those unforeseen messes — they come in handy for all sorts of things.

Happy Friday,

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