Non-scents

I recently became greatly disturbed to learn that two of my male friends from college have begun wearing female body spray in an earnest attempt to attract women. No, I'm not joking. And these are actually really smart dudes -- not to mention beastly hairy and fairly masculine all around.

They have deduced that because women purchase these pungent perfumes, soaps and sprays, they (women) must be attracted to the scents  -- and therefore will be attracted to any man who wears "cucumber melon" or "apple orchard."

Here's a news flash: Straight women like sweat. No, not the oxidized sweat smell that emanates from your gym bag -- but the fresh, clean sweat that bursts from your pores, full of pheromones. That's why they make cologne -- most male scents are made with musk, reminiscent of body odors.

To my friends, I say: Drop with the "strawberry fields" and go au naturel.

To my readers, I ask: What scents drive you wild?