Action!

Dear Mistress,

My boyfriend really wants to videotape us having sex, and I'm warming up to the idea, but I'm still nervous. I'm not worried about the video falling into the wrong hands, as we would record it onto my camera, and I would have total control. I'm more worried about what will happen if I'm horrified at the sight of myself having sex. I think we can all agree that things wiggle and jiggle during the act. What if I'm so turned off by myself that I never want to have sex again? (OK, that's a little dramatic, but you know what I'm saying.) Couldn't he have thought of this idea during the summer, when I at least had a tan?

Mistress, you must have some tips on how a girl can look her best on camera. Help!

Thanks,
Camera Shy

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Dear Camera Shy,

Kudos to you for being willing to step outside your comfort zone and try something new. Seeing yourself in all of your boot-knockin' glory can be a daunting thought, but you have to think of yourself as a leading lady — you're hot, no matter what wiggles and jiggles.

Your on-screen debut doesn't have to be under fluorescent lights through a wide-angle lens. Dim the lighting and consider some creative camera positions. Instead of a full-body shot, set up the camera to capture your face and chest while your guy takes you from behind. If you're still feeling shy, add a sassy piece of lingerie to flatter your shape and make you feel more confident.

To get more ideas, check out some amateur porn online — couples all over the world are revolutionizing porn in their own bedrooms, and you can benefit from their expertise. If you can relax and have fun with this project, you'll give new meaning to the command "Action!"

Ready for my close-up,
MM