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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Mr. Midnight

Dear Mistress,

I'm just going to come out and say it. I hate New Year's Eve. People put all this pressure on themselves to make it the best night of the year when, in reality, it's just like any other night. Oh, except that it costs double the amount of money to go out to eat, all the bars are packed with drunken douchebags, and you can't get a cab — not to mention it's almost always the coldest night of the year.

I know, I know. I should just quit my whining and stay home, right? Well, I can't. You see, my girlfriend LOVES New Year's Eve. She wants to go out on the town and live it up, and she expects me to enthusiastically do the same.

Normally I'm all about making her happy, but the thought of going downtown on New Year's Eve drives me crazy. Is there any help for me, or am I doomed to a night of socializing with drunken assholes in the freezing cold?

Mr. Midnight


Dear Mr. Midnight,

One thing's for sure — with an attitude like that, you're destined to have a rotten time, no matter what you do.

Call me superstitious, but I believe New Year's Eve is a foreshadowing of the year to come. If you spend the night being a negative influence on yourself and everyone around you, you'll be doomed to spend the rest of 2010 in the doldrums. However, if you can get over yourself and go with the flow on NYE, you'll spend the rest of the year welcoming happiness and unexpected good times.

That said, you seem certain your girlfriend has her heart set on going out. But maybe she just wants the night to be a special one that involves your showing a little effort. Have you considered asking her to co-host your own New Year's bash and inviting all your friends? Or you could suggest staying in, making a romantic dinner and watching the ball drop over Times Square (followed by your own fireworks in the bedroom).

Tread lightly. If she balks at your suggestions, let it go, and get ready to have a good time on the town — cabs or no cabs.

Happy New Year,

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