Work Ethics

Dear Mistress,

I'm hoping you can give me a little advice before I muck up a potentially fun situation. I've been harboring a secret crush on a guy in my work circles for years. On second thought, I don't know how secret it really is, given our flirtatious nature, but I always thought it was just part of our business rapport. Recently I heard through the grapevine that he has some interest in me, and I'm feeling excited and a little overwhelmed. This guy is smart, charismatic, maybe a little dangerous and extremely handsome — good combo.

The problem is, my company and his company do a lot of business together, and I'm worried a relationship of any kind could be construed as a conflict of interest. My company doesn't have any hard and fast policies on fraternizing, but it still makes me nervous. What do you think? What is the etiquette on this stuff in 2010?

Signed,
Job Security

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Dear Job Security,

Forget etiquette. With the obscene amount of time Americans spend working, we don't have time to meet potential mates anyplace else. In fact, DiscoverHealth.com reported that 40 percent of Americans find partners at work — I'd like to see an H.R. department try to keep up with those numbers. If you've been hot for this guy for years, and it turns out he's hot for you, too — go for it.

It sounds like he hasn't made a move, so don't get your panties in a bunch just yet. But if he does ask you out, be prepared. Tell him your concerns up front and suggest that it might be better to get to know each other in a not-so-public fashion. If your budding romance turns out to be a wilted flower, no one will be the wiser. However, if you hit it off romantically, be prepared to be honest with your employer and allow the powers that be to make any adjustments necessary to your position. It's a risk, but in matters of the heart, it's a risk worth taking.

Employee of the Month,
MM