Gee, Whiz

Dear Mistress,

I've always wondered what it would be like to have a partner ask me to do something sexually that I'm not comfortable with. I wondered how I would react, what I would say, and whether or not I would ultimately push myself to try something new. Of course, being a relatively "vanilla" girl who has always been with relatively "vanilla" guys, I've never had to really worry about it.

However, my boyfriend of nine months recently told me that he fantasizes about me urinating on him. I did my best not to react poorly, but I was shocked. I told him I would think about it, but it's been about two weeks, and neither of us has brought it up again. Things have definitely felt strained — like a big, yellow elephant is in the room.

Can you help me understand why he'd want me to pee on him? Also, if I were going to try it, where would I even begin? I just don't see how it could not be totally awkward!

Signed,
G. Whiz

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Dear G. Whiz,

Kudos to you for not totally closing the lid on your boyfriend's toilet fantasies. As with any fetish, the best place to start is with a conversation. Your guy could be turned on by water sports because of an event in his childhood, or because he likes the idea of being overpowered by a woman brandishing a golden stream of dominance. The only way to know for sure is to ask him.

After your talk, determine how you feel. Remember, you are not obligated to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If golden showers aren't your thing, that's OK — he'll just have to keep his piss play in fantasy, not reality.

On the other hand, if you decide you'd like to follow the yellow brick road, take it slow and have fun. Invite him for some naughty time in the shower, preferably on a full bladder. After you're both sufficiently turned on, tell him you'd like to try some target practice. The first time might feel awkward and strange, but he'll be grateful you're even trying it. And, you never know, you might enjoy yourself.

Off to see the Whizard,
MM