Just (Don't) Do it

After his lurid fall from grace, Tiger Woods returns to the golf course today to compete in the Masters. As you might recall from the one billion news reports on the subject, Woods took a hiatus from the links after a dozen or so mistresses came forward and confessed affairs with the married superstar. 

To launch his return to the sport, Nike -- one of the only sponsors to stick by Woods -- released a 30-second spot featuring the voice of Woods' deceased father giving him a fatherly talking to. He says, "Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. And did you learn anything."

For his part, Woods stares into the camera and tries to look appropriately apologetic, but he mostly comes off looking creepy. He's supposed to be thinking "remorse" — but I think he's probably thinking "boobs."