All Ears

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I’m a 29-year-old woman, and I’m writing to you in hopes that you can make me feel better about a pattern that’s emerging with my boyfriend.

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m “experienced” and “open minded” when it comes to sex. The truth is, unlike other readers who write to you, I’m more traditional and like sex to be romantic and emotionally intimate. For the most part, my boyfriend shares my same values, although he is a bit more adventurous and likes to try new positions and activities.

Recently, he’s been emphatic that I kiss his earlobes when he’s close to orgasming. I can understand that kissing his earlobes must feel good, but he’s bordering on becoming insistent that my mouth be on his ear when he ejaculates. Is this weird? Would you classify this as a fetish?

Signed,
Earmarked

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Dear Earmarked,

Technically, a person fetishizes an object, not an action — so, no, your boyfriend’s interest in receiving ear stimulation is not classifiable as a fetish.

It’s not difficult to understand your beau’s ache for ear attention. At the very least, ears are closely tied to sexual arousal. When we’re turned on, our ears get hot and, on some of us, turn bright red — dead giveaway of arousal. Ears are also full of nerve endings, making them an intense erogenous zone for most of us. In all likelihood, your boyfriend experiences a heightened sexual arousal and release when your mouth is by his ear, kissing, moaning and breathing.

There’s nothing “weird” about giving pleasure to your partner, and one could easily argue that there’s nothing more “romantic” than listening to your partner’s needs and delivering. Think about it: He’s asking you to be close to him while he orgasms, stimulating him with touch, sound and scent — can you imagine anything more intimate?

Giving you an earful,
MM