Hey, Sexty

Dear Mistress Maeve,

There's been a lot of news lately about "sexting," but it all has to do with how shocking this technology has been when it comes to teenagers. (I wish they could see the notes I used to pass in high school!) So what about us adults? I'm a man newly back in the dating world after a nine-year marriage. All the women I'm seeing have these iPhones and newfangled things, and it seems as though they're getting a zillion text messages per hour. I'm not much of a texter, but my flip phone does have the capability. If I'm dating a woman and things are going good, when can I drop her a "sext," and what do I say? Do women in their thirties even want to get a "sext message"?

Signed,
Sext Me Later

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Dear Sext,

Sexting, the act of sending sexy text messages, knows no age limit. Women in their thirties, forties, fifties and so on are as likely to want to receive a sext message as women in their twenties. However, to sext message the object of your desire successfully, I would suggest following a few basic rules of engagement.

First, no sexting until you've consummated the relationship. Call me old-fashioned, but I want to see what you have to offer in person, not on my smartphone screen. Sexting should not be the appetizer before the main course — more like a snack between meals.

Once you've done the deed, let the sexting begin; however, tread lightly. For your first sext, send something mildly suggestive and see how she responds. If she sends you something sassy back, you've got the green light to turn up the heat. Just don't go overboard — if you wouldn't say it out loud, you probably shouldn't say it via text.
Regarding photos, be careful. Women know that a man will always be happy to receive a revealing photo, so rely on her to send one if she wants to — asking or begging for one is déclassé. And, whatever you do, don't send a photo of your member unless she requests one. Just ask Brett Favre how badly that can go…

One final note: Be sure to update your phone plan to unlimited texting. Otherwise, your sexting success could end in financial ruin.

Sexting You Up,

MM