Houseguest Mess

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My husband and I have a great sex life — one I was thoroughly enjoying until we invited my hubby's best friend to come stay with us while he's in between apartments and jobs. It was supposed to be for four days, but it has turned into two weeks, and it keeps getting extended. Between my husband and I having opposite work schedules and our house guest keeping odd hours, I can't relax enough to have sex. Even when we go to bed at night, the bathroom is right next to our bedroom, and I can hear him coming and going (literally), and it wrecks the mood.

We love our friend and don't feel we can ask him to leave earlier, but I'm going crazy. I keep telling my husband to "do something" about it, but I know he's in a tough position, and now we're bickering. I'm looking at one more week with no nooky, and I'm not happy about it. What would you do?

Signed,
Houseguest Mess

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Dear Mess,

Any house guest who plans to stay for four days and ends up staying for a month should know he's wearing out his welcome. So it's time to solidify his exit strategy. Because he's your hubby's best friend, your man should have a short, pointed discussion with the house guest. He should tell him that it's been great having him stay with you, but he'll be expected to leave at the end of this "extension." Knowing you have a concrete date of departure should start to alleviate the tension. And your husband shouldn't worry about offending the guest — any friend who allows a month's worth of couch surfing is a saint.

In the meantime, challenge yourselves to be creative. Have you considered a quickie while the house guest runs to the corner store or takes a shower? How about meeting your hubby during your lunch hour for some serious heavy petting in the car? Or, if money and time allow, treat yourselves to a midweek overnight at a local inn. You have options — you just have to think outside the box (to get your husband inside your box).

Crashing at Your Place,
MM