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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Not Aural About Oral

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I have been sleeping with a guy for a few months now. I think that we connect and have great sexual chemistry, but there is something missing.

In the beginning, we would just have fast and rushed sex, but as time went on and we realized our encounters were going to keep happening, more foreplay became involved. So I have performed oral sex on him several times now and he has YET to go down on me. I'm really into that and I would really like it to happen, but I don't know how to approach the topic. I don't feel comfortable enough in the heat of the moment to just ask him to do it and I don't know if he has any weird reservations about it. So I don't know what to do. What gives?

Oral, Not Aural


Dear Oral, Not Aural,

Let me ask you a question: If you stopped going down on him, how long do you think it would take him to inquire about your sudden suspension of services? My guess is probably not long, so why are you being bashful about asking him to please you?

If you can't bring it up in the heat of the moment, give it the pillow-talk treatment. Talking about our desires and making requests of our lovers is sometimes best received while basking in the glow of a successful romp. Start by complimenting him on the areas of lovemaking where he excels, then just come out and ask him: I've noticed you've never made a move to go down on me -- how do you feel about giving oral? You may discover he has hang-ups, or you may learn he was simply waiting for you to guide him.

I don't care when and how you talk to him about it, but you MUST talk to him about it. Asking him for what you want is as much of a lesson for you in communication as it is a lesson for him in reciprocation.

Sweet and lowdown,

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