Bite Me

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I've been on two dates with this guy, and we've spent some quality time making out and dry humping like teenagers. Normally I don't wait too long to do the deed, but I've been putting him off because I feel like he might be "too sweet" to get the job done. I like sex to be on the rougher side, and in particular, I'm a huge fan of biting. I love being bitten all over, from my neck to my shoulders to thighs.

We have great kissing chemistry, and he's very passionate; I'm just not sure how to communicate my need to be bitten and dominated. Should I tell him what I like? I'm worried that will create too much expectation and stress for him. At the same time, I don't want to say nothing and risk getting deeper into a relationship with a man who can't satisfy me. Help, I really like him!

Signed,
Once Bitten, Twice Shy

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Dear Once Bitten,

If there's one thing I've learned, it's not to judge a book by its cover. You never know what's lying beneath that sweet and passionate exterior — he could be a vampire fetishist just waiting for the invitation to sink his teeth into your flesh. Or perhaps he is inexperienced with rougher sex but happy to learn what makes you tick.

We're all more open to suggestion when we're aroused, so let him in on your need to be nibbled while in the heat of the moment. The next time you fool around, wait for an appropriately passionate juncture and ask him to bite you. Keep it sexy, but be specific — if you want him to bite your neck, say so. If he's nibbling too lightly, tell him bite you harder. If he doesn't have a lot of experience using his canines, he'll appreciate your directions.

Assuming he obliges your request to gnaw on you, be sure to engage him in some pillow talk afterward. Tell him you really liked him biting you and ask him what he thought about your need to be nibbled. If he's eager to please you, continue telling him about your desires. Be sure to compliment him on all the things you like about him, and let him know that you're no shrinking violet. Invite him to ratchet up the roughness, and tell him he shouldn't be afraid to go "caveman" on you from time to time.

Rough and tumble,
MM