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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Smut Buying in Burlington

Hartley_2 It's a steamy 91 degrees in downtown Burlington today — a perfect day to buy Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex (yeah, I know it came out last October, but I've been waiting to read it until I could enjoy it at the beach with a cocktail, which I will be doing this weekend). If you don't know who Hartley is, she's an outspoken, sex-positive feminist porn star who's been in over 400 adult films since the mid-eighties. She's been on Oprah and graduated summa cum laude from San Francisco State's nursing school. All in all, she's pretty kick ass.

But, back to the point of this blog entry: Buying sex books in Vermont can be nerve-wracking — Burlington is a small city where everyone seems to know everyone. Even for someone as shameless about her sexuality as I am, I found myself feeling slightly uncomfortable standing in front of the "Erotica" section — perhaps it's because it's sandwiched between the psychology and self-help books like "Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation" and "The Celestine Prophecy." Whatever the reason, when a hot, tattooed chap came strolling down the aisle, I almost dropped Hartley's book, catching it loudly and letting out a little yelp — twice. Smooth.

Approaching the check-out, there were only two registers in use, and I had to skillfully maneuver my way to the cashier I didn't know. As the guy chirped about their online coupon program, I was wishing he'd just shut up and put my smut in a bag, and I kept nervously glancing over my shoulder to see if the woman behind me was checking out my titles (I also got She's On Top: Erotic Stories of Female Domination and Male Submission and's The Big Bang).

I suppose I could avoid feeling awkward and just buy my sex books online, but I'm a big fan of instant gratification — not shipping and handling. Besides, it's good to be bold. I can't hide behind this anonymous blog all the time.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Cable Guys

Gaytv_2 I learned something new today. I knew that the first gay kiss on television happened in the 90s on Will and Grace, but I didn't realize that the first gay cuddle scene was actually in the 80s on ABC's thirtysomething — and that the network lost millions in ad dollars over it.

I came across this interesting piece today via Fleshbot. has put together a list of the most influential gay male sex scenes on television. It's no surprise that cable shows like Queer as Folk and Noah's Arc dominate the list (Will and Grace is progressive, but we have yet to see Will and Jack in a three-way romp with Karen), but the commentary and significance ratings for each scene make for an interesting read. . . and pictures are nice to look at, too.


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

What Are You Like In Bed?

Nymag I don't know what you're like in bed, but after reading New York Magazine's Love and Sex Issue, I do know what fourteen NYC hipsters are like in the sack (insert retching sound here).

New York Magazine asked fourteen nearly-perfect, American Apparel-looking scenesters: What are you like in bed? See their answers and photos here. My favorite is the woman who says her downfall is that she doesn't give head. Ya think?

Monday, April 16, 2007

Fresh Air

Yet another dreary weekend in Vermont — the perfect weather for staying in and staying satiated. But, what if you have no partner to pass the time with? If you're truly desperate and self love has lost its luster, you can try the new Japanese fad — air sex. You've seen air guitar, air drums and full-on air bands, but the Japanese are taking it from the stage to the bedroom.

Have a look at this short piece via Fleshbot and YouTube.

Friday, March 23, 2007


I came across this tidbit via Smut and Steff. With his collection called Uncovered, photographer Jordan Matter depicts New York City women going about their daily lives with one small catch — they're topless. From picking fruit at the Union Square Market to watching the St. Patrick's Day parade, these women have volunteered to show what life might look like if the words "fear" and "shame" were no longer part of our vocabularies. With men able to walk around topless whenever they please, Matter's photography aims to show a world where women do not carry the painful weight of history on our chests.Jordanmatter

Take a moment to check out Uncovered, and you can also view news clips showing Matter's interesting and often humorous photographic process.

Monday, March 19, 2007

No Experience Necessary

Virgin_territory Kevin Blatt, famous for distributing the Paris Hilton sex tape, has come up with a new idea to maintain his B-list celebrity status — a reality show where one lucky boy virgin gets his cherry popped by a bona fide porn star. The show, described as Big Brother meets Howard Stern, will be called Virgin Territory. While the show has no network to call home (I'm thinking pay-per-view might be a better venue for this brand of entertainment), the application to participate in the show asks prospective virgins whether or not they'd be available for a month-long taping this summer.

Show producers held auditions in New York last week where would be contestants took polygraph tests, presumably to separate the men from the boys, if you know what I mean. . .

If you think you might be eligible to participate, you can download the Virgin Territory application here. Based on some of the returned Seven Days sex surveys, I know at least a few of you exist in Vermont. And don't forget to pick up this Wednesday's Seven Days for the complete sex survey roundup!


Friday, March 16, 2007

America Voted — Come Out, Already!

Since pop culture phenomenon American Idol took over televisions across the country six years ago, tabloids have swirled with rumors about host Ryan Seacrest's sexual orientation. Seacrest has remained quiet about whether or not the gay rumors are true, but check out this clip from one of this week's episodes courtesy of The clip shows a back and forth between Seacrest and crotchety judge Simon Cowell. The exchange makes me feel icky — either Cowell is trying to out Seacrest on national television or show producers are trying to use Seacrest's mystery orientation to boost ratings. Either way, the whole thing is awkward. If Seacrest is gay, I wish he would just say so. Don't get me wrong — he has every right to stay in the closet, but if he's not going to let us in on his little secret, then I wish he would stop pandering for ratings.

On another note — who's excited for the Sex Issue? Next week, Seven Days will reveal the results of this year's sex survey. I must say, I'm proud of you — I had no idea how deliciously perverse some of you are. . . 

Monday, March 05, 2007

Bite Me

Teeth debuted at the Sundance Film Festival last month. The New York Times described the flick as a "feminist horror film," so clearly I had to check it out. The movie tells the story of a pure and prudish high school girl whose vagina literally bites back during a sexual assault. I remember reading about the myth of the vagina dentata in college. Many cultures tell tales of vagina teeth, presumably as a means to control the urges of young men. The myth persists in popular culture — like when Mike Myers, playing Wayne in a Wayne's World sketch, refers to his female guest's "major vagina dentata."

I've read some not-so-stellar reviews of the film, but Teeth did win a prize at Sundance, and I hear John Hensley of "Nip/Tuck" puts in a deliciously disturbing performance as the fucked up brother. I haven't seen it for myself yet, but I'll be ready to sink my teeth into it when comes to a theater near me. . .

Friday, March 02, 2007

He's Got Balls

Former NBA player, and now openly gay man, John Amaechi released his book Man in the Middle last week. The book examines what it's like to be a closeted gay man among the NBA's elite, where coaches and upper management support a culture of fear and ignorance when it comes to gay issues. Sound like fun, no? You can read an excerpt from the book on ESPN.

You've probably already heard news stories about former NBA player Tim Hardaway's reaction to Amaechi's coming out — it was less than favorable. Hardaway sounded off on a Miami radio station, saying such eloquent things as, "You know, I hate gay people, so let it be known. . . It shouldn't be in our world or in the United States." Gee, I wasn't aware that the United States wasn't in our world. Thanks for the education, Tim.

The NBA has banned Hardaway from all NBA-related events, and Hardaway's lawyer has released an official apology. I'm glad to see mainstream media isn't letting it go at that. Check out Jimmy Kimmel's offering featuring my favorite gay, George Takei.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Insider Trading

Saying "I like porn" is like saying "I like food." We all like food — but, what kind? Do you have an appetite for fresh and juicy, hot and meaty or wholesome and satisfying? I enjoy watching all kinds of porn, not always for the specific content, but always for the rush I get from viewing something naughty — something my friends and coworkers might never suspect. That's my favorite part about porn — how kinky and subversive I feel when I pop in a DVD or point my web browser to an x-rated site.
I'm always curious about what people like, or don't like, about porn. So, imagine my delight when I came across this video via Fleshbot of porn industry workers finishing the sentence, "The thing I love about porn is. . ." The video was shot by Tramp Stamp Studios at the 5th Annual XBIZ Awards. While I don't particularly care what the plastic Barbie-type porn stars have to say, I do find all the behind-the-scenes industry people to be quite amusing. Enjoy!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Porn and Pancakes

The other night I caught the tail end of a Daily Show segment about Porn and Pancakes. At the time, all I gleaned was that members of some Christian ministry thought it would be a great idea to lure men into talking about the dangers of pornography by tempting them away from the womenfolk with a manly breakfast. I was partially correct.

As it turns out, Porn and Pancakes is an event held across the U.S. by XXXChurch — a young, hip, online Christian ministry whose main goal seems to be to spread the word of God to porn industry workers and consumers. The breakfast-time testosterone fests are geared toward men and boys (junior high and older), and will often feature XXXChurch presenters chatting with ex-porn industry leaders about the dangers of pornography. They speak out loudly against the Christian Church’s tradition of ignoring pornography, and XXXChurch founder Craig Gross says they have taken a lot of criticism for their frank talk about porn and their unorthodox outreach methods. For a sample of XXXChurch’s outreach, check out this video of Pete the Porno Puppet. You’ll find it all over You Tube and MySpace.

You’re also likely to find XXXChurch leaders peddling the Bible at major porn industry trade shows or debating with porn star extraordinaire Ron Jeremy live in front of college audiences. To get a better sense of XXXChurch, you can check out this ABC news piece about their various outreach tactics.

From the news piece, I gather that these guys are passionate Christians — but I also get the sense that they love all the attention and fame. Hmm, I wonder how much they charge per speaking engagement . . .


P.S. XXXChurch is also responsible for the “Every Time You Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten” campaign. Enjoy.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Sexy Sarah

The Sarah Silverman Program premiered last night on Comedy Central. If you don't know Sarah Silverman, I suggest you get acquainted with her. She is the brightest (and, in my opinion, sexiest) female comic to come up through the ranks. She started out as a writer and player for Saturday Night Live but was fired after her first year — likely because her comedy was too smart for her cohorts. She's making her own way now, and I am only too happy to see her doing her thing every Thursday night, joking about things like race, vaginal rejuvenation, scatology and various other "inappropriate" topics. Here's a taste:

Sarah Explains the Birds and the Bees:

Sarah Disses Paris Hilton at the MTV Music Awards:

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Goodbye Harry, Hello Daniel

Parents of Harry Potter fans are aflutter over actor Daniel Radcliffe's latest publicity photos taken for his performance of Equus in London. Radcliffe appears to be naked and getting friendly with a horse in the photos, and parents of young Harry Potter fans are flooding fan sites with letters of disdain and disbelief. I've also heard that Radcliffe performs a pretty steamy sex scene on stage. If you're reading this blog, you're probably not going to be offended by the photos. You can find them here, courtesy of Flesh Seeker (beware, when you visit Flesh Seeker, you're likely to get an eyeful).

But, before you get too excited, keep in mind that young Daniel won't be 18 until July, 23.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Get Real

While attending a party over the weekend, a frustrated friend asked me where to find "authentic" lesbian porn. She explained that she keeps herself satisfied with erotica and female masturbation videos but that she's been unable to find "real" lesbian hardcore films.
She's got a right to be frustrated. If you believe what you see in mainstream lesbian porn, all lesbians look like Pamela Anderson, never break a sweat while getting it on and have 3-inch-long fingernails (yet somehow manage never to severely injure their partners). Mainstream lesbian porn is made with one consumer in mind — the straight male. As such, the women in these films are almost never portrayed as actual lesbians — they're bi-curious or sleeping with women to please their men.
Wk_coverAs lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues become more recognized in mainstream media, it stands to reason that the porn industry will have to follow suit — and it's already happening. I recommended to my friend that she check out Pink and White Productions out of San Francisco, a leading company in the world of queer porn. With two titles already available, The Crash Pad and Superfreak (in which the ghost of Rick James transforms party-goers into "superfreaks"), Pink and White has earned numerous industry awards and plans to release a new movie this March called In Search of the Wild Kingdom.
My recommendation comes with a friendly warning — this is real lesbian hardcore. Pink and White founder Shine Louise Houston doesn't shy away from group scenes, rough sex, fisting or gender play. And Houston knows lesbian sex — she used to work for Toys in Babeland and has used many of her Lusty Lady friends in her films.

Friday, January 26, 2007

I Can Get Behind That

Butt Through the magic that is MySpace, I found out that Vermont hottie Jason Whipple is gracing the current cover of BUTT magazine. BUTT, a quarterly publication by and about gay men, is published in the Netherlands and distributed worldwide.

I'm still looking for a newsstand in Vermont that carries BUTT, and I'll let you know when and if I find one. In the meantime, I highly recommend checking out BUTT online — where readers from around the globe submit pictures of their butts and/or heads to become BUTTHEADS.

If you can't live without your very own copy of BUTT with Mr. Whipple on the cover, you can head south to Northampton, Massachusetts this Saturday and pick one up at Pride and Joy. Whipple will be on hand from 12-2pm to sign your BUTT.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Behind the Times

If you want to be hip in 2007, you better have an iPod, skinny-legged
jeans and, apparently, a penchant for the posterior. According to a
recent article in New York Magazine, anal sex is all the rage with
heterosexuals these days. The article sites statistics from a recent
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention survey that claims that doing it in the derriere has become immensely more popular than it was a decade ago, especially among heterosexual couples looking to spice things up. Read the full New York Magazine article here.

Curiously, the CDC's survey only accounts for men penetrating women
and does not seek to discover how many women are anally penetrating
their men with fingers, dildos or other objects. For many women,
penetrating a man is a very meaningful experience — it can be an
empowering, feminist experience, and it can also introduce a new
layer of intimacy to a relationship.

Of course, I still encounter men who have strict "exit only" policies
when it comes to their behinds. Whether brought on by a lifetime of
heterosexist conditioning or a genuine fear of giving into that level
of vulnerability, I think it's a shame that so many men forgo this
kind of pleasure.

Since the CDC didn't think it worth asking, I'll ask you — how many
of you straight folks would/do engage in female-on-male anal penetration? Care to elaborate? Leave me a comment.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

The Perfect Gift

For those of you who didn't catch Saturday Night Live this week, take a look at this SNL Digital Short featuring Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake. Gentlemen, if you can't figure out what to get your significant other this holiday season, perhaps you should consider. . .

*If you're watching this at work, wear headphones and keep your laughter to a dull roar.

Monday, December 11, 2006

All I Really Need To Know I Learned By Watching Porn

I like watching porn in all its various forms, from heterosexual softcore movies to gay hardcore flicks. What can I say? I'm a voyeur. I will admit, however, that it's difficult to find a film without a cheesy plot, bad acting and completely unrealistic sex scenes. I came across this list via MySpace bulletin and thought it was amusing enough to share. I'm not sure who the original author is, but he or she deserves a prize.

The Top Twenty Things I Learned While Watching Porn

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving oral sex.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. Oral sex will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.

10. People in the 70's couldn't orgasm unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

11. Double penetration makes women smile.

12. Straight Asian men don't exist.

13. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

14. Nurses always give oral sex to their patients.

15. Men always pull out.

16. When your girlfriend catches you getting oral sex from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before deciding to have sex with both of you.

17. When standing during oral sex, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

18. A man ejaculating on a woman's behind is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

19. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find his member there.

20. Women never have headaches or periods.

What have you learned from watching porn? Leave me a comment. . .

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Tidy Up

A friend just forwarded me this European IKEA commercial from their
"Tidy Up" series featuring a young boy playing with standard
children's toys, when mommy's "toy" accidentally finds its way into
the mix. The ad suggests that using IKEA's numerous organizing
furniture pieces will keep your "toys" away from your children's.

I feel bad for this little boy. As if buck-toothed school photos and
embarrassing childhood tales weren't enough — he'll be the former
child actor who played with a vibrator on television. And what are we
to do if this happens in real life? Have you ever had to
explain to Junior or Juniorette why Mommy's special penguin isn't a
plaything? If so, do tell.

In the meantime, enjoy:

More amusing "Tidy Up" ads:

Monday, October 16, 2006

Sex Sells. . .Again

It's Monday, and I'm tired after a long, glorious weekend of "research." I love my job.

All I can muster is a link to Corona's new ad campaign, courtesy of my friend J. Pretty steamy for a cold beverage. . .

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