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Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Shaving Time

It's that time of year -- decidedly not summer anymore, yet ages away from my February escape to the tropics. So, the question becomes: What to do with the bikini line? According to, full bush made a recent comeback due to women making recessionary cutbacks in discretionary spending (read: no money for professional waxing). Sounds good, but something about going au natural just feels a little too Vermont-y.

Full Brazilian wax? Sure. However, after watching this clip from the Wanda Sykes HBO special, "I'ma Be Me," I'm not so sure that's the way to go, either. Watch this video for a hilarious (and graphic) recounting of Sykes's first Brazilian. Not safe for work viewing due to subject matter and curse words.

So, what's a girl to do -- rock the 70s-style porno bush or watch your asshole run for its life across the Serengeti? What are your thoughts on personal pubic grooming? Share your comments!


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Bridge, Erected

Jalopnik is reporting that a Russian drawbridge has been defaced with a drawing of a giant penis. Now, as  motorist sit and wait, they can enjoy a much more entertaining "erection" of the bridge.

500x_bridge_penis The best part of this blog post? The comments, of course. All of these come from the same contributor:

"Now that's a cock that sees a lot of traffic."

"Someone should probably lay a rubber on that thing."

"That's one way of insuring that any cars crossing the bridge get fucked while in traffic."

"You can count on this bridge to up at around 5:45am every morning."

Nice. My contribution? "If the bridge gets stuck like that for longer than four hours, does it need to consult its doctor immediately?"

(Thanks to my pal at The Dead Pool for sending this one my way.)


Tuesday, March 23, 2010


The only thing keeping Ghost Whisperer actress Jennifer Love Hewitt relevant these days is her vajazzled crotch. Yep, I said "vajazzled." She recently went on the George Lopez show — he has a late-night talk show on some cable channel — and discussed how she regularly bedazzles her va-jay-jay with Swarovski Crystals in a process called vajazzling.

Since Hewitt's cooter confession, vajazzling has become the latest spa craze. Check out this video of Bryce Gruber from The Luxury Spot getting vajazzled in New York City (via dlisted). While the video doesn't show all her goodies, it's probably not work appropriate. (Please note that the spa spokeswoman can't even say the word vagina.)

I think Vermonters should have their own vajazzling options — like cow-shaped stencils decorated with Danforth pewter or crystallized maple syrup.



Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Sing it, sister.

How many ex-lovers, ex-crushes and ex-stalkers have you had friend request you on Facebook? If your answer is "Too many," you'll likely enjoy this little ditty sung by Kate Miller-Heidke. Please note, due to some apropos cussing, you may want to listen to this via headphones.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Culinary Delights

Picture_5 With the holidays — uhh, coming — I have a fab gift idea for the culinary artists on your list: Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes. No, I'm not joking. From what I can tell, this is an honest-to-goodness collection of recipes featuring savory dishes like Tuna Sashimi with Dipping Sauce, Creamy Cum Crepes and Man Made Oysters.

You can get your own copy from a site called Lulu, where writers can publish their own paperbacks. It appears these books are made to order (ahem), and it takes 3-5 days to print — still plenty of time to get it shipped for your holiday feast.

Tastefully yours,

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Get Nastee

Nasteenotes Don't know how to say "take a hike" to a suitor who doesn't measure up? Try sending him or her a note card that says, "No thanks. . . I have a vibrator" from Nastee Notes.

With messages like "Shut The F Up," "Thank you for bringing stupidity to a new level," and "1-800-YOU-NEED-HELP," Nastee Notes creator Vanessa Cavaco is finally providing the masses with greeting cards that more accurately describe our feelings for friends and family.

My favorite Nastee Note? "I love balls." Now that's classy.

Shop Nastee Notes here. (Via Boinkology.)


PS... Yes, the cards are bedazzled, but it's a Swarovski crystal. Fancy.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

It's a Small World

I had the funniest "small world" moment last night while doing research for a post on unusual body fetishes. I was originally interested in learning more about armpit fetishes and armpit sex (an act of "outercourse" where the phallus slides through a lubed armpit). But, as usual, my research took me in directions I never imagined. I ended up looking at long list of body-related fetishes and kinks on Kasidie: The Lifestyle Magazine (careful, link is not work friendly). The most unusual fetish listed was zit popping.

You might be thinking, "Gross!" But still, while I don't find popping things erotic, I do find it strangely satisfying. So I clicked the link.

After watching a few videos where people had things lanced, popped and squeezed (it's like watching a slow motion accident; you can't look away), I clicked on a video that showed a woman hunched over while two people worked to extract something from her back. While there were no faces in the video, I recognized a familiar voice — my college girlfriend's.

Not being able to think of a better reason to call an old flame, I dialed her up and asked her if she had uploaded a zit popping video to the Internet. Through laughter, she explained that the video featured her sister's back with various family members helping to pop a monster back blemish. While we both thought it was hilarious that I recognized her voice, she was not as thrilled to find out that the video she posted on YouTube for friends and family to see was now on a fetish website.

Consider yourself warned: Just about anything can be fetishized, thereby making any video you put on YouTube a possible fetish sensation. (And your college girlfriend might find it.)


Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Mail Goggles

We're all familiar with the drunk dial. You have a few too many tequila shots and end up calling that guy or girl you're crushing on or dialing up your ex and begging for forgiveness. With today's technology, the drunk dial has expanded to included drunk texts, Facebooks and chats.

Luckily, Google has come up with a way to eliminate at least one drunken communiqué: the drunk email. With a new Google Lab called Mail Goggles, you can now set your Gmail account to ask you to solve "a few simple math problems" to verify that you're firing on all cylinders before you send a regrettable email on the information superhighway. Brilliant.

You can read more about Mail Goggles on the official Gmail Blog.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Smart Is Sexy

Shirts If you're reading my blog, you're most definitely smart and sexy — and you should have a shirt that says so.

Swing by City Market this Friday from 3pm to 5pm to purchase a "Smart Is Sexy" t-shirt to benefit the Continuing Education Student Enrichment Fund at UVM.

Pretty sassy way to raise money, eh?

The creators of the "Smart Is Sexy" campaign have this to say: "Smart is Sexy celebrates the inner beauty and confidence that comes with the pursuit of knowledge. We feel that there’s nothing more beautiful than recognizing your potential."


For more info, check out the "Smart Is Sexy" website.

Monday, August 18, 2008


I just read an interesting article over at Boinkology on DADD — Dating Attention Deficit Disorder. The question, according to author, is "Has the web turned us into a generation incapable of having a long enough attention span to develop a monogamous relationship?"

Perhaps I'm just looking for an answer to my own perpetual singlehood, but I think this is a valid question.

Really, think about it — if you're a single person taking advantage of all the Internet has to offer, why would you "settle" on one partner when you could possibly meet someone new on, ISpy someone at Seven Days, randomly hook up at Craigslist or rekindle your high school romance on Facebook? As one commenter on Boinkology points out, the Internet helps perpetuate the "grass is always greener mentality."

What do you think? Is dating and sex made too complicated by the all the online outlets we have?

You can read the short article here. And, can someone tell me what's up with the freaky photo they chose to illustrate this topic?!

Happy Monday,

Friday, August 15, 2008

Pet Peeve

I'm so annoyed when I meet someone I'm interested in, then can't find him/her on Facebook or MySpace.

C'mon, people: If you're single and minglin'... get a Facebook account. You'll make it much easier for people to flirt with you.

I suppose I'll just have to wait to run into this person again or risk looking like a stalker by showing up at his place of business. What's a girl to do?



Monday, August 04, 2008

Beach Blanket Bingo

Bettybeauty Consider this: You're at the beach and meet the girl of your dreams. The sun is beating down on you, the sexual tension is mounting as you soak up the rays together. You're flirting and eying one another as the sweat glistens on your hot bodies. When you both can't take it any longer, she pulls you away to a secret spot on the beach where you won't be discovered. You're making out, she's ripping off your beach gear. Arousal escalating, you pull her bikini bottoms down to reveal... a dyed blonde bush with a blue dolphin stenciled onto it.

It could happen.

(Warning: Site contains the most annoying music ever, but it's work friendly. Via Naked City.)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Not even "remotely" hot.

Do you know what the most germ-ridden item in a hotel room is? According to a travel segment I saw on morning television ages ago, it's the remote control. That piece of information has stayed with me — I always wipe down the remote with hand sanitizer before ordering up my pay-per-view porn. 

So, imagine my shock and horror when I watched this video (via Fleshbot) that shows a sexy blond LICKING everything — including the remote — in an Extended Stay America hotel room. The video is sort of work friendly — as long as you don't mind your coworkers catching you watching a girl lick a toilet bowl. Ew.

So, my question is: Is this video sanctioned by Extended Stay America?

The Internet sure is a weird place.


Monday, July 28, 2008

Hey, Baby...

I was walking up Bank Street in Burlington a few weeks ago and noticed three construction workers walking up an alley toward me. One of them whistled and another called out something like, "Hey darlin'!"

Uh, was I really just catcalled by middle-aged construction dudes in Burlington, Vermont?

At first, I felt embarrassed, then my embarrassment turned to anger — I mean, WTF! As I hurriedly kept walking, hoping to turn the corner before they emerged onto the street, I had a split second where I actually felt sexier than usual, which was quickly replaced with an overwhelming sense of feminist guilt — how dare I allow their intrusion on my time and space lift me up in some way.

Blah. My point is, their annoying vocal advances messed up my flow for a couple minutes, and I didn't like it. Not to mention, I know many women who, because of various painful past experiences, would be traumatized by an ominous-looking group of dudes walking towards them, making sexual comments. So, guys, please: Shut the fuck up and be respectful. It's not too much to ask.

In doing a little research about catcalling, I came upon a blog titled Holla Back NYC. Holla Back encourages New Yorkers to snap pics and vids of street harassers and send them in for publication:

"Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you're commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some turd's fantasy. So stop walkin' on and Holla Back: Send us pics of street harassers!"

Is this shit legal?

Whistles and hollas,

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I need more spankings.

I love the new(ish) trend of making book trailers — you know, like movie trailers, but for books. I especially like book trailers when they're about spanking and star Rachel Kramer Bussel. Here's the trailer for RKB's latest anthology, Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica:

You can order a copy of Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica here.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Last week saw the release of Apple's newest iAddiction — er, I mean, iPhone.

I sat idly by and watched all my blogger friends (in other states that offer AT&T service) Twitter on and on about standing in line, downloading apps, blah, blah, blah. Here's a video illustration of how I envision all of my blogosphere friends looking upon unwrapping the iPhone (via Fleshbot — totally not work friendly):

Wait, is he plugging that iPhone into a PC?! My posse would never do that.

Still, from all of us in Vermont who can't get the iPhone, go iScrew yourselves.


Monday, July 14, 2008

Who's the the web's hottest blogger?

That's for you to decide. Hop like a bunny over to to vote for the web's sexiest scribe. The winning blogger will be asked to pose for Playboy.

My vote? Violet Blue. However, I wouldn't mind seeing any of them naked (especially Veronica Belmont).

Rock the vote,

PS... While I was clicking around on (for the articles, of course), I stumbled across "The Girls of Olive Garden." C'mon, I know we have to get used to product placement in mainstream movies and television — but in my smut? Really?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tennis Cock?

I've heard of tennis elbow, but tennis cock is a new one on me.

Here's a new podcast from Match where he discusses going to a hot, female doctor for numbness in his penis brought on by overuse of cock rings (no, seriously). Turns out the doc hadn't ever heard of cock rings, so Match — being the kindly pervert he is — brings some to her office for show and tell. 

As always, Match is funny, interesting and accessible, so you should listen to his podcast — in headphones if you're at work or within earshot of children.


P.S. You may recall that Match calls his penis his "schpeep" — pronounced shpee-pee — and that I think that's the cutest thing in the world. Happy listening...

Monday, October 15, 2007

Monday, Monday

It's Monday, and I'm feeling more out of sorts than usual after a particularly wicked weekend. I'm having a hard time focusing, so I'm YouTube-ing instead of working. Thought you might enjoy this video of a spank-hungry kitty cat.

I must say, its owner's dedication and technique are admirable — I'm wondering if he has a "scratching post" of his own. Let the "pussy" jokes begin:

Friday, October 12, 2007

Cyber Love

In 2002, Wired Magazine said, "Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love without looking for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because 'the right books are found only by accident.' Serendipity is the hallmark of inefficient markets, and the marketplace of love, like it or not, is becoming more efficient." By all accounts, Wired is right. Americans continue to spend over $500 million per year on internet dating sites, presumable because they work. Plus, the stigma surrounding meeting people online has all but disappeared. (Hey, if Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can pull it off on the silver screen — who can't?)

I keep pretty close tabs on our Personals here at Seven Days, both because I'm single and because reading the ads provides hours of endless amusement. Some people really wear their hearts on their sleeves, while others showcase their comedic talents. Like this guy, for example. When asked what he would be if he was reincarnated, he replied, "A bra." Now, before judging too harshly, he's also a MAC-loving chocolatier who's into old 80's music. Not too shabby. Go get 'em, ladies.

Seriously, if you haven't checked out our Personals — do it. If you're single and looking (or a couple and looking together), what have you got to lose? There's something for everyone.

Happy dating,

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