Buzz cutting.

"Cuz I can ford a red eed only street a wide a ree land."

I just got off the phone with the legendary Buzz Osbourne of the Melvins. We were supposed to chat at 1 p.m., but he was "at band practice." Rad! At least I got to hear his outgoing message, which is the theme song to "Alfred Hitchcock Presents." Now that's punk-rock.

It was a rapid-fire conversation — he's really quite the cutup.

Here's a tidbit: Buzz claims to be responsible for Kurt Cobain's demise. Kurt used to follow the Melvins around like a little puppy; by giving him a window into the rock-roll lifestyle, Buzz started a chain reaction that ended with a solitary shotgun blast.

He totally remembered the show they played in Burlington just days after Cobain's death. "Yeah, that was with The Obsessed," he said. Heavy.

I was recently sent the Melvins' upcoming disc, Senile Animal. It's good, but a couple of tunes seem to rip off Houdini and Stoner Witch. Probably bound to happen after 25 years of rock.

Try this one on for size:

"A History of Drunks"