Email Newsletters: 
Ridiculous.
Just received a promo of a band called Zox. Yeah, you've probably heard of 'em — they're up here a lot.
The sticker on the shrinkwrap says:
For fans of Sublime, Jack Johnson, Guster, Pixies, and the Cure.
WTF? That's no way to market a record!
Might as well be:
For fans of Coldplay, Anal Cunt, Clay Aiken, Merzbow, and Raffi.
Hey! I like the Pixies! I need to get that album!
Posted by: Murf | Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 01:22 PM
Yeah, if only they'd slapped Katrina & the Waves on there. Then I'd be sold!
Posted by: casey | Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 01:36 PM
Here's how I translate that: hippish environmental studies majors who wear natural fibers with a bass turned way up and a keyboardist. And maybe their lead singer is Very Sad.
Posted by: brooke! | Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 03:15 PM
Brooke! Earn your online degree in Didactic PR Translation or Better Branding Techniques for Jam-Rockers in as little as two weeks. Credits may not be transferrable in the Continental US or Asia. Checks welcome.
Posted by: casey | Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 03:23 PM
"For fans of Jandek, Hanson, Elephant's Memory and Cambell's Black Bean soup"
Posted by: jay | Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 04:11 PM
Jay frickin' wins this round.
Posted by: casey | Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 07:20 PM
**self-congratulatory pat on back**
Posted by: jay | Tuesday, October 17, 2006 at 11:21 PM
zox hu? more like... zux... right? who's with me?
Posted by: tanner | Wednesday, October 18, 2006 at 01:19 AM
Sure Tanner, I'll pile on: fuck 'em!! woo hoo!!
Wait... who are they?
Oh well, I'm always up for a round of good ol' Unknown Band Name Mockery: for fans of Schadenfraude, Biting Sarcasm, Supercillious Disillusionment With Music Industry Due to Over-Exposure, Ex-Band Members, People in Their 30s.
Posted by: Neil | Wednesday, October 18, 2006 at 01:31 PM
Where the hell is that next podcast?
Posted by: Murf | Wednesday, October 18, 2006 at 02:33 PM
Friday, sir. It's been recorded.
Posted by: casey | Wednesday, October 18, 2006 at 03:22 PM
Cool. It'll make for good listening during my flight to West Virginia on Monday.
Posted by: Murf | Wednesday, October 18, 2006 at 09:15 PM
How about...for fans of Tom Petty, Cursive, Everclear, Grand Funk Railroad, and Gorilla Biscuits.
Posted by: Hans Olson | Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 03:14 PM
I'm down. Damn, we could do this forever!
Posted by: casey | Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 04:20 PM
given that i know the band i'll grant them similarities to Sublime, Jack Johnson, and Guster, but in no way are they anything like the Pixies or the Cure. Well, they have guitars and drums and singing, i guess that's a similarity.
Posted by: tm | Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 05:32 PM
Marketing often has nothing to do with the band, as the sticker in question illustrates. But it's hardly an isolated incident. Maybe I should keep a log.
Posted by: casey | Thursday, October 19, 2006 at 06:26 PM
I've learned something here. If I had a band, I would market it toward "anyone who doesn't hate puppies. All that much."
Posted by: brooke! | Friday, October 20, 2006 at 03:55 PM