I Need Cock (Rock)
Greetings, Solid State!
I have to admit, I'm a little "hurt up" today. A touch of the Irish flu, if you will. The reason? Last evening's opening frames of my very own bowling league, The Whiskeyball Gutter League.
I'm an avid bowler. Not an especially good bowler, mind you; I just really enjoy it. I love the feeling of knowing I've rolled a perfect ball the moment it leaves my fingertips. I like the shoes. I love the cheap beer. I love taking an absolutely ridiculous game waaaay too seriously with good friends who should know better. I love the kitschy Americana. I love picking up a split. And I totally dig the music.
My good friend, Jeremy Gantz, and I started the league because we were tired of bowling in public leagues with total strangers — though that aspect surely has it's charms. We approached Champlain Lanes with the idea, assuming we could field at least eight teams. We ended up with 14, nearly filling the entire alley.
Among the conditions we insisted on — draft specials and free shoes being at the top of list — being able to play music was a priority. In typical leagues, music is a Footloose-ian no-no. I imagine for folks who take the game much more seriously than we do, it can be distracting. More distracting than the 14 Bud Lights most of these "athletes" consume over three games? Perhaps.
In any event, after no small degree of haggling, we convinced the powers that be to let us hook up an iPod and play our own music over the PA. In short, it was awesome.
I put together a rough draft of a bowling mix with some of my favorite music and some obvious "bowling tunes." "Take The Skinheads Bowling." Check. Anything by Let's Go Bowling. Check. The Big Lebowski soundtrack. Check. Check. But, as totally rad as the mix was, it was flawed.
While putting it together yesterday afternoon, it occurred to me that I don't own any cock rock. It's not that I'm "too cool" or have anything against overblown guitar wankery. I've just never had occasion to acquire any. Frankly, what's a good bowling mix without hair-metal?
So I need your help, denizens of Solid State. If you were to put together an ass-kicking mix for your bowling league, what would be on it? Don't be shy. This is one opportunity to voice your guilty pleasures to the world and shed the shackles of embarrassment. Whaddaya got?
In the meantime, here's a bowling blooper reel:
The Ultimate Bowling Mix:
1) "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
2) "Dr. Feelgood"
3) "You Shook Me All Night Long"
4) "The Final Countdown"
Repeat.
Posted by: jay | Wednesday, November 28, 2007 at 10:32 PM
1. Kiss Me Deadly, Lita Ford
2. I Love Rock and Roll, Joan Jett
3. C'mon Feel the Noize, Quiet Riot
4. Back in Black, ACDC
5. Warrior, Scandal
Posted by: Mistress Maeve | Wednesday, November 28, 2007 at 10:58 PM
I prefer to do my bowling in complete silence; like in the middle of the woods during a snowstorm. Yes, it's tough to pick up those tricky splits with all the lumpy snow-covered terrain but you can really clear your head.
Seriously, I'd be looking for Aldo Nova's "Fantasy" (with the extended chopper intro) to be somewhere in that mix.
Posted by: Murf | Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 01:16 AM
I think you got it all wrong, what you need is to do that "Galactic bowling" with the laser lights and that glowing neon, then put in some Tangerine Dream, or like... the Jean Michel Jarre track on the Galipoli soundtrack. That would be an experience.
Posted by: Tanner | Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 09:35 AM
Thanks for the bowling video. I needed a chuckle. If you decide you to do this league again, I can get a team (or 3) together in a heartbeat. I would add the following songs:
For cock rock, all I can think of is "Welcome to the Jungle." My bowling faves: "Beat It" and "Centerfold."
Posted by: don eggert - 7 Days | Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 01:44 PM
Good suggestions all. Thanks!
Galactic bowling, eh? Sounds trippy. I'm in. Could we combine it with Murf's nature bowling? And maybe some 'shrooms?
I imagine we will be doing the league again, but not for a while. This one just started and runs through mid-February. I'm guessing folks may be all bowled/cock-rocked out by that point. If that's even possible . . .
Posted by: dan | Friday, November 30, 2007 at 12:25 PM
I bet Iron Maiden would be pretty fun to bowl to. I also just saw this band from Sweden called Witchcraft... not exactly cock-rock, but there was some heavy guitar-neck licking during the solos.
Posted by: Ari | Sunday, December 02, 2007 at 05:26 PM
witchcraft are amazing. i love the albums, definatly not cock-rock, retro-stoner rock. 1 part led zep, 2 parts black sab.
Posted by: Tanner | Monday, December 03, 2007 at 12:39 PM
dan, i could see you gettin into some Bob Seger man.....
Posted by: gd | Monday, December 03, 2007 at 07:45 PM
Ha! Why the hell not?
Posted by: dan | Tuesday, December 04, 2007 at 10:12 AM