Obama Hates White People!

It's been one of those mornings, Solid State.

First, I woke up with the key change part of Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love" inexplicably stuck in my head — does that song even change keys? In my head it does. And it's epic. And bad. Really, really bad.

Then, walking my beloved sidekick Buckley through Battery Park on our daily constitutional, I stepped in a giant pile of dog poo — at least, I hope it was dog. Uggh.

But the kicker happened at the gas station. Waiting at the counter for my debit card to clear, I glanced down at today's cover of the Freeps which features a big shot of Republican VP candidate — and vaguely school-marmishly hot — Sarah Palin. "She gave a great speech last night," said the cashier, nodding to the paper.

"It was OK," I replied. Out of morbid curiosity, I actually did watch most of her speech. Palin is a mildy engaging speaker. And pandering, right-wing bumper-sticker rhetoric sounds deceivingly wholesome coming from the mouth of a self-described "hockey mom." "She kind of reminds me of Frances McDormand's character from Fargo," I quipped.

"Huh?"

"Fargo. The Coen Brothers mov . . . nevermind." I guess the Simon's clerk isn't a fan.

"Well, she's a hell of a lot better than that big phony," he said.

"Obama?" I replied, smirking. He nodded. "Well, I guess I'm inclined to disagree," I said, hoping the conversation might end there. On numerous mornings, I've stood in line waiting to pay for coffee or a Vitamin Water while the middle-aged register jockey has espoused his opinions on myriad topics, from the the global warming "myth" to the appalling "pussyness" of wanting to actually sit down and talk with potential enemies. Without fail, he always adds that he's informed because, and I quote, "I read the Internet." Oh, boy.

"How can you disagree?" He was flabbergasted, his voice rising in volume and pitch. Now I really didn't want to get into it. There's nothing worse than arguing politics with an impassioned stranger.

"I just do," I said, feigning a smile and trying to make my way towards the door.

"Well, you know he hates white people, right?"

Oh. My. God. My jaw dropped. Whatever shred of inner monologue I had prior to my morning coffee evaporated. "That's just garbage," I blurted. Oh, shit. Now I've done it.

"What? What? You don't have a clue, buddy," he sputtered, clearly growing angry.

"His mother is white, dude," I retorted. "His VP is white . . . he is half-white."

"You don't have a clue, buddy," he spat back. "You need to read."

Now I was pissed. "Read?" I guffawed. "Read what? The Free Press?" Gesturing toward the rack of skin mags, "Maybe Juggs? 50-Plus? . . . the Internet?" Admittedly, low blows all. Like I said, I was un-caffeinated.

"Not a clue, buddy."

This was not a winnable battle. "Have a good one, pal," I said as I left the store shaking my head. Or maybe looking for a clue.

Some days . . .

Comments

[Brad]

Sigh. Yet another example of why the next two months are going to be very, very long. I've already scheduled Nov. 5th as a vacation day... I'll need it regardless of the outcome.

[HKay]

Ugh... wow. I guess it's really tough to argue with the "informed" crowd. Sounds like you handled it better than I would have.

[marty]

You know what we need a debate like this. This country can't afford a third Bush term. I think Obama laid out in his acceptance speech exactly what he will do. Of course the Repuplicans will lie about it. But we have gotten lies from the Repuplicans for eight years. What Palin said last night par for the course!!!!

[casey]

Head explodes. At least the GOP stooges in my neck of the woods are suitably informed and battle-ready.

[TreeHugginEnvironmentalist]

Oh wow. I just have to say this article made my day! I was beginning to wonder if I was the only person who had the pleasure of hearing that man on one of his rants first thing in the morning. Last time I was alone in the store when he started telling me how we need to just start "drilling through all the green space *irregardless* of what all them tree hugging environmentalists tell ya" because "folks like us are dying trying to make a living out here selling gas at almost $4 a gallon and those people are just protecting the damn animals and trees!" It was amazing how angry he got without any hint at where it was coming from at that moment.

[HW]

No worries Dan - she reminded me exactly of Frances McDormand's character from Fargo as well. Just wish the Palins didn't have so much appeal to the average conservative - a beauty queen that hunts married to a fisherman who is a world champion snow machine guy - I don't think you could have made it up any better. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best in Novemeber...

[bigbadbrad]

What a douche. For His sake, I hope he owns the place. From a businees perspective, Talking politics in that setting is a mortal sin. If I was his boss, I'd be absolutely bullshit. Noone cares about your politics or your bigioted, tin-foil hat theories. It makes people uncomfortable, especially in a place as liberal as Burlington. I think the Handy's own that place, they all about business. One day that dude is going to cheese off the wrong motherfucker who'll go straight to his boss and this bozo will be getting his last two checks and shown the dog gone door.

Still, I wonder who let the cat out of the bag about Obama hating white people? Was it you, Casey? You need to stifle the noise, son! I bet dollars to doughnuts you're the same traitor who let it out the that Barack HUSSEN Obama is a closet muslim who hates america and kicks puppies. That's counter productive, man. We're never going to take down western civilization if you guys can't keep you mouths shut.

For all McCain line of Bull about a good, clean campaign, I don't by that for a second. They can't help themselves. It is going to get ugly, mark my words.

LOL...Guess You Mr Store Clerky cancel each other out eh, Dan?

[Razmarie]

It's just painful, really. What scares me the most is that folks just like that are the ones who voted GWB in the last 2 go rounds. I'm honestly worried that there are enough ignorant people out there to keep the "torch o' republican" burning bright in Washington for yet another 4 years.

If that happens, I honestly believe I could become a fanatical extremist and start holding political art terriorst meetings in a smokey basement somewhere...

[Margot Harrison]

Sarah Palin is totally Marge Gunderson from Fargo (the nasal accent) crossed with Tracey Flick from Election with a big dash of Mean Girl thrown in. I'd like to think Marge would vote Democratic, but I could be wrong.

[The Big Z]

...once again, we must turn to Zappa, who saw this coming a long time ago........

Listen to "Flakes" on Sheik Yerbouti...

We are millions 'n' millions
We're coming to get you
We're protected by unions
So don't let it upset you
Can't escape the conclusion
It's probably God's Will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin',
Yer puppy is crappin'
You might call us Flakes
Or something else you might coin us
But we know you're so greedy
That you'll probably join us
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you

[Luther]

This guy at Simons did the same thing to me!, lets take him down!!!!

[Justin Boland]

Yeah, this is exactly why Democracy doesn't work. People are easily manipulated and willfully ignorant. Right now we've got 2-3 generations of people who were raised by a broken educational system and they have no tools for evaluating all the messages beamed at them by paid liars.

I wish politics was about "the issues", as McCain manager Rick Davis put it, but he was right -- it's not. This is about the manipulation of symbols and keywords.

There's a reason Karl Rove is so fond of targeting Christians: they're easy prey.

[ben]

I'm not a Bush McCain supporter. but I think many left leaning burlingtonians are just as easily made into "prey" as those church people. I can't imagine anyone in the above list honestly checking any anti-bush mccain facts. If somebody says something anti-republican in btown it usually takes about 1 second for everyone to wholeheartedly agree. People on both sides will believe nearly anything if it suits there political/emotional stance.

[Justin Boland]

Ben, absolutely...but there is a "but."

Cognitive bias works in all directions, but it's important to remember that liberals, obnoxious though I may find them, are generally better informed about history, science and current events than their conservative bretheren.

I know damn well there is a long and proud lineage of incredible conservative intellectuals...but Sean Hannity will die never knowing that, know what I mean?

[ben]

I do understand. I just deal with a lot left wing conspiracy guys in my shop and, so long as it's anti-Bush they will believe almost anything.

[dan]

I absolutely agree with you, Ben. Conservatives certainly haven't cornered the market on ignorance — though not for lack of trying, I'm afraid. The hosts on Air America are often as vapid as Hannity or O'Reilly. But you do know that McCain eats puppies and drinks the blood of virgins, right? I read it on the Internet.

It's a sad state of affairs when joke T-shirts emblazoned with "Stewart/Colbert '08" actually sound like a good idea.

[abe]

What? Are you telling me Stewart and Colbert AREN'T actually running? Damn. This is more disappointing than the Mets bullpen right now.

[bigbadbrad]

Dan, You got a problem with puppy eaters? Them's fightin' words, son!