100 Days and Still Barackin'
In honor of President Obama's 100th day in office, I reflected on my own past 100 days. Well let's see how I have been doing . . .
Jan. 27: In New Orleans — was raging drunk on Bourbon St. (go figure).
Jan. 28: Didn't do a heck of a lot. See Jan 27th, above.
Feb. 2: Came home to VT and apologized to girlfriend . . . See Jan 27th.
Feb. 3: Bought some flowers.
Feb. 10: Bought some more flowers, and some nice perfume for V-day.
Feb. 11: Decided to stop drinking and/or doing anything that would cause my liver harm. Also, took up Aikido.
Mar. 13: Made a bold decision which allowed me to spend more time in Vermont. A career change, if you will.
Mar. 18: Wondered what President Obama has been up to lately.
Mar.19: Watched President Obama on The Tonight Show
Mar.22: Lamented the fact that it was still bloody cold in VT?! Also was curious if CEO's at A.I.G. and Rick Wagoner play poker together on Saturday nights.
Apr. 1: Had an awful nightmare that a drunken Dick Cheney shot me in the face with a magical potion that made me sneer uncontrollably at anything that was humane and reasonable.
Apr.11: Got up at 4 a.m. to celebrate the 1st day of trout fishing. Stopped fishing after about an hour because I got tired of clearing the ice off my rod and was beginning to see little pink fairies flying over my head - the 1st sign of hypothermia . . .
Apr.15: Tried to think of a job that would make fly fishing tax-deductable.
Apr.20: Tried to see if there was a business market for a roller coaster theme park at Gauntanamo Bay. But then realized that a waterboarding coaster could be a liability.
Apr.22: To celebrate earth day, I wrote to GM to propose the blueprints for a cow shit car in place of the Volt.
Apr.29: Still haven't caught any fish. But I bet neither has Obama . . . well, 'cept for that one old fish.
Comments